One Day

The lawnmower was humming. I had just enough time to finish cutting the grass and take a quick shower before heading into Columbus to see dear friends for food and fellowship. The collection bag was full, so I cut off the engine and removed the bag, shaking its contents into the other leaves that I had gathered and set out at the road for municipal collection.

An older man in a red pickup truck had pulled in to my neighbor’s driveway, clearly wanting to speak with me. I walked up to his truck, and he asked me for directions. The location he was seeking was on the west side of Columbus, some 45 minutes away. When I told him this, he was surprised, flustered, and looked to be disappointed at the news that he was so far from his destination. As we talked, it became clear to me that he was confused.

He didn’t have a phone, or a map. And I didn’t have any faith that he would remember my verbal directions to get him home. So I invited him to park his car, come in and meet Lori and we would figure out a way to help him navigate home. As he was parking his truck, I popped into the house, giving Lori a heads-up that we may have a person with dementia who needs our help.

I quickly finished mowing the grass and returned to the house. Lori and I agreed that the best approach to getting him home safely was for me to accompany him in his truck, while we followed her as she drove our car. That way if we got separated, I would still be on hand to navigate to our destination. When I explained this plan to the man, he balked. He didn’t think it was warranted for me to accompany him. He felt fully capable of staying on our tail and following us home.

Concerned that his self-assessment may be far from reality, Lori and I decided that speaking with the police about our concerns was the best next step. We didn’t want him or anyone to be injured if he returned to roadways, following us. I spoke with the dispatcher, and she sent an officer over right away. He was a very professional young man. Patient, a good listener. He asked the man some questions, and it became clear that the officer shared my concerns about the man’s competency.

This led to lengthy conversation, additional police and EMT personnel, and a fair amount of stress and nervousness for the poor man. Everyone worked together really well, asked great questions, conferred with their more senior personnel, and collectively landed on the outcome: the gentlemen needed to go to the hospital for further examination. This was the surest way to keep him safe. I suspect that if I had stuck with our initial plan and somehow got him home, he might have functioned just fine in that familiar environment. Outside of this safe bubble, all bets would be off for him, I believe.

When he woke up Saturday morning, he considered himself to be a fully functional adult human being. By sundown, he was sleeping in a hospital, because more than a half dozen people determined otherwise.

If we live long enough, some version of this day is coming. The last day you fly on an airplane. The last time you drive a car. The last time you see a friend or loved one. The last day you can be trusted to move about the world independently.

Twenty years ago, I might have written out some directions for him and gone on to meet my friends. I’m glad I was there to help, but I’m not that far from being elderly myself. If I can stay fit and avoid the Big C, I figure I have 10-15 years of robust adventure. It’s time to start elevating my adventure time, because my day is coming, too.

Sunday Supper

With rain and cooler temperatures moving in, it is finally time for some comforting soups and stews. This Butternut Squash Congee w/ Chili Oil looks great. So does this Tortellini Soup. And how about this Quick Chicken & Dumplings?

Sunday Music

I simply love Madison Cunningham’s music. Here she performs My Full Name live. This song is on her latest album, which just dropped last week or so. Here Brad Mehldau performs Elliott Smith’s “Better Be Quiet Now.” Let this nearly 30-minute set featuring Nate Smith, Lalah Hathaway, James Francies and Derrick Hodge from the Montreal Jazz Fest make your Sunday morning. Enjoy!

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Have a great week ahead!  You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

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This Old House

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LIttle Totems