Bergen & Helsinki

We went on a family vacation to Norway and Finland this past week. We flew first to Bergen, Norway and enjoyed three days there before flying to Helsinki and spending time with our former foreign exchange student and her growing family.

There were multiple catalysts for this trip. One is that our firstborn studied Norwegian in college. Another is that our former foreign exchange student had her first child last year, and we needed to meet the little girl. A third is that any chance to have our offspring mostly to ourselves on a globetrotting adventure is always a precious opportunity. So off we went.

This won’t be a Rick Stevesesque triptik detailing our every activity. Despite the fact that I transitioned rather smoothly to the Nordic timezone, somehow I found myself wide awake at 3:30am Thursday evening. Given that we were returning to Ohio on Saturday, I thought I would crank out an early draft of an essay Thursday, in case I became too braindead to write anything coherent by my self-imposed weekly deadline, Sunday, 8:30am. These are in-the-moment broad brush impressions of our adventure.

First, Lori is a master of AirBnB, and navigating air travel. Both apartments that she secured for us were perfectly situated and well-appointed. We were able to cook some meals for ourselves, and experience living in each city, albeit briefly. And when American Airlines abandoned us in Chicago yesterday, she booked us on a Southwest flight that got us home (after an Uber ride from O’Hare to Midway).

Second, trips like this have become the new, adult version of “windshield time” with our children. Back in the day, the car rides to soccer games and robotics tournaments were some of the best times to download how our kids were doing in life. Now it’s on airplanes and in AirBnBs.

Bergen is a natural beauty. Nestled at the foot of seven different mountains, the climate there is considered tropical due to the microclimate created by the surrounding mountains and the warm air from the Gulf of Mexico that flows into the region. It rains more than 200 days each year there. The rain we experienced was mostly a mist - like a heavy marine layer in the morning, that burned off as the sun rose. We walked and walked the hilly cobblestone streets, and enjoyed a boat cruise of the surrounding fjords.

Helsinki’s beauty is different than Bergen’s. It’s more human, more solid. Its architecture communicates strength. It is larger, and more vibrant. I also have to give the nod to Finnish restaurants for how they season their dishes. Our friends treated us to an amazing meal at Natura, which focuses on locally and sustainably produced ingredients. So good. Even better, we got to spoil the new baby of Fanny’s. She is the exchange student who lived with us for the 2011-2012 academic year at Granville High School. She and her partner are great parents, and her own parents joined us for all of our activities. We saw Fanny in New York a couple of years ago, but this was our first time in Finland with her family in 11 years. It was a super-special reunion.

Traveling is so good. It gets us out of our day-to-day world and pushes the mind to think differently, to appreciate how other communities organize themselves, to put the whole world into a broader, richer context. There were so many little design features, from brushes mounted outside of apartment buildings for people to clean their shoes, to unexpected parking rules that make total sense. Other people solve problems differently. Traveling is a great way to remind yourself that there are always alternative ways of doing things.

Schlepping through airports can be a drag, but it is completely worth it. It is productive discomfort. I don’t know what the exact right balance is, but I feel like I need more of it.

Sunday Supper

The salmon in both Norway and Finland was ridiculously good. This simple Lemon Butter Salmon w/ Dill is emblematic of what we ate. This baked Fish & Chips can only be a shadow of what we enjoyed this week, but it will still be delicious. Pairing either of these fish dishes with this Tomato-Watermelon Salad would add a summary accent to the meal. And washing everything down with a Finnish Long Drink will transport me back underneath a big umbrella at Birgitta Hernesaari, protecting our food from the seagulls, watching the boats coming and going across the Gulf of Finland, and just soaking up life.

Sunday Music

The first compact disc I ever bought was actually a 2-disc set, Pat Metheny Group’s 1983 live double album titled Travels. Almost any time that I travel, the title song eventually arises in my mind. This is a distinctive cover of that song. Here is a popular Swedish song (#4 on Eurovision) to listen and dance to when you are taking your next sauna. This cover of Herbie Hancock’s Watermelon Man at the Polar Music Prize celebration for Mr. Hancock is wonderful. And let’s end this week’s musical journey with a performance of the Boy from Bergen, Edvard Grieg - here is a live performance of his piano concerto in A minor, opus 16 by Julia Fischer. Enjoy!

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Have a great week ahead!  You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.


Peace & Love,

Rich & Richer

I caught the first few minutes of this conversation that Joe Rogan had with Bernie Sanders recently. In it, Sanders states that it would take the sum total of the net worth of 52% of America’s least wealthy to match the wealth of Elon Musk. So the wealth of the most wealthy man matches the cumulative wealth of the bottom 52% in America, in terms of net financial worth. Bernie sees this as evidence that there is a problem in our society.

Do I think it is “good” that Elon’s relative net worth matches that of the lowest 52% of our society, combined? No. But I don’t think it is automatically bad. I hold this view for two reasons.

First, I believe that the primary driver of wealth disparity is time. The longer that we maintain a relatively peaceful, secure society where capitalists can flourish, the more the “haves” can grow their wealth. I understand that Musk’s wealth was mostly accumulated in his lifetime, which is more an indication of the booming tech industry and his uniqueness as a businessperson.

Second, even though Musk has accumulated more dollars than anyone in history, he is not as wealthy as some of his Gilded Age peers in terms of wealth as a percent of U.S. Gross Domestic Product. With a net worth of $900 million in 1913, John D. Rockefeller’s wealth rose to nearly 3% of GDP in that year. The U.S. GDP for this year is projected to come in around $29.3 trillion dollars, putting Musk’s current net worth of $363 million at just 1.24% of GDP. So, on a relative scale, Musk does not command as big a slice of the economy as some of his predecessors.

The question on my mind is: How does the least wealthy 52% of America live? What is their quality of life? There will always be outliers on the performance curve. I’m comfortable with our society producing high-achievers, but not at the expense of average Americans living a reasonably good life. At this moment, I can’t say that I’ve done my homework well enough to know how well this lower 52% is living, I’m sorry to say.

There are about 10,835 people in America with a net worth of $100,000,000 or greater - 902 of whom are billionaires. As odd as it may sound, someone who has amassed “just” $100,000,000 in their lifetime will typically have done so in what most of us would consider to be the “right” way, in the sense that they’ve paid taxes on that wealth as it accumulated.

It’s the weird edge cases like Musk, whose wealth is mostly on paper and growing so fast, that present a unique challenge, in terms of Musk paying anything resembling his “fair share” of taxes. So long as he keeps his wealth encased in the companies he founded, there will be no “taxable event” that would allow Musks’s wealth accumulation achievements to benefit society at large. Before my libertarian friends point out that any money given to government is money squandered, I’ll simply say that there are lots of things that all of us rely on daily that is best built and maintained collectively through some form of government.

But I can’t help but think about people like Andrew Carnegie, John D. Rockefeller, Cornelius Vanderbilt and Henry Ford. While each had their own philosophy of philanthropy, they seemed to share a greater concern with lifting up people on the lower rungs of the socioeconomic ladder than the concerns of their present day counterparts. They seemed to understand that if society doesn’t work for most of us, it may not work for any of us.

I worked a shift at Always Forward Crossfit’s booth on the midway at Granville’s July 4th celebration this week. The unifying factor that kept a few people coming back multiple times to swing the sledgehammer and make the bell ring was this: They believed they could do it. They came close on their first attempts, so they wanted to keep trying. We all need to believe that we can make the bell ring in life. And I hope that those high on the economic performance curve take reasonable steps to ensure that more people can make the bell ring because of their successes.

Sunday Supper

This Sunday how about this Lemon & Garlic Chicken w/ Cherry Tomatoes, or this Coconut Miso Salmon Curry? For dessert, I recommend this Peach Cobbler that is accented with saffron and honey.

Sunday Music

This Sunday check out this year-old performance by Thee Sacred Souls at the NPR Tiny Desk. Khruangbin is always a good listen, too. This Reggae Mix is fun as well. Enjoy!

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Have a great week ahead!  You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.


Peace & Love,

I’m Bored (With Food)

Cooking has changed for me since the boys have moved out. It’s only by having some time to live in this new reality that something has become clear: When I was feeding my family on a nightly basis, cooking was more than just cooking. It was nurturing. It was actively trying to bring the family joy, to nourish them and make them strong. It was a nightly attempt at serving them just the right food - food appropriate for that day, and those circumstances.

In the transition to cooking for just Lori and myself, I appreciated that my cadence could shift. Instead of being a daily ritual, it has become something done every other, or every third day. And our primary requirement being that the food serve as good, healthy “fuel” - which, for us, means mostly meat and vegetables. This has netted out to me roasting a lot of chicken thighs and vegetables, and making a lot of salads.

These dishes can and should be delicious. But it’s impossible for them to not have some degree of monotony. It was only this past Friday, when we attended a potluck dinner that my enjoyment of cooking perked up. I committed to bringing the proteins (chicken and beef/lamb), and because I was feeling frisky, I also made a batch of hummus as a bonus contribution. Thinking through the logistics of cooking these things, working backward from 6:30pm Friday night and planning when I would make the marinade, form the meat loaves, cook the chickpeas, etc. - this all engaged me in ways I hadn’t experienced in quite a while.

Seeing people positively react to food that I made offers a little hit of dopamine. That’s what I’ve been missing. It’s hard to find that “high” when I’ve been keeping my cooking so bloody simple.

To be fair, I want to keep things simple most of the time - both for my health and for my schedule. I have shifted my use of time away from the kitchen for the time being. So, I’m not moping. But cooking for the most part has become a more tedious, basic chore. This is fine for now. I don’t expect this mode to last forever. In the meantime, just know that if you invite us to a potluck, the answer will be a quick “yes” if we don’t have other commitments on the calendar.

Sunday Supper

The Friday potluck was centered around a Mediterranean theme. This Kefta recipe is not exactly how I made it on Friday, but it’s close. This Shish Tawook Chicken Kebab recipe yields the platonic ideal of the dish, in my opinion. This hummus recipe was a major breakthrough for me in a number of ways: Making the tahini-garlic sauce separate from pureeing the cooked chickpeas, then whisking them together allowed me to really control the flavor balance. Cooking the chickpeas for a long time, and with some baking soda in the water made this the smoothest texture I had ever achieved with this dish. And lastly, this particular brand of tahini was also a game changer. Ingredients matter! If you are serious about your hummus, I strongly encourage you to give this a try.

Sunday Music

Before we get to the music, first you should check out Mo Amer’s comedy bit about making hummus. Man, do I love listening to Lianne La Havas. This Morning Jazz Vinyl set will get your Sunday off and rolling quite nicely as well. Enjoy!

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Have a great week ahead!  You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.


Peace & Love,

Seven Generations

I probably shouldn’t write about racism. I’m a white man who grew up in a semi-rural suburb of a Midwestern city, and have never lived in very diverse communities. Someone like me writing about race runs the very real risk of saying something stupid out of ignorance. What are the odds that I can make a meaningful contribution to the reduction of race-based bias and intolerance?

Visiting the National Civil Rights Museum a few weeks ago made a real impression on me. It reminded me of a view I had previously held, but honestly it had drifted due to lack of use. That view has been resurrected, and it is this: It is insufficient to be a non-racist. If we are to move society in the direction of greater fairness and equal opportunity, all of us need to be actively anti-racist. We have to challenge even the most subtle racist acts and let those who propagate them know that it is not acceptable. Living in a suburban Ohio town with little diversity has provided very few opportunities to demonstrate this value.

I can’t fully appreciate what the lived experience of a black person is in today’s America. But I do know that just 200 years ago, White Americans owned Black West Africans as slaves. I know that slavery was abolished by the 13th amendment in 1865, but it was ninety-five years later that young Ruby Bridges needed adult escorts in order to attend an elementary school that up until that point had been exclusively for white students. I have some sense of the blindspot that I possess, because I can read, and think, and empathize with the circumstances in which other people find themselves.

A thought experiment: If we could wave a magic wand and expel all racist thoughts in America, and ensure equal access to good education and job opportunities to every citizen, how long would it take for previously oppressed communities in America to reach socio-economic parity with the rest of our society? I put this question into Claude.ai, and it estimated it would take 3-5 generations.

Of course, we don’t have such a magic wand (and what does Claude know, anyway?). Disadvantaged communities will still be at a relative disadvantage for the foreseeable future. There are still segments of our society that are more than happy to keep piling on such adversity.

From 1865 until today about seven generations of humanity have played out. The current state of affairs must be about as good as it has ever been in America. But the issue is far from resolved.

Even though the 13th Amendment abolishing slavery was ratified in December of 1865, it wasn’t until June 19th, 1866, that the news of slavery’s abolishment reached some corners of Texas. America’s recognition of Juneteenth as a national holiday is considered by some to be America’s “Second Independence Day.” It certainly was a step in the right direction, in terms of honoring the truth expressed in our Declaration of Independence, stating that “All men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” A straightforward pronouncement, finally applied to every human being on our soil.

It has taken us seven generations to get to this point. It could easily take seven more before such essays never need to be written again. Please join me in this anti-racist posture. Let’s keep things moving in the right direction.

Sunday Supper

It is officially summer, so let’s light the grill and cook these Dijonnaise Grilled Chicken Breasts along with Grilled Summer Vegetables w/ Tahini Dressing. This cool American Flag Fruit Salad provides a strong finish.

Sunday Music

This Stanley Clarke performance at NPR’s Tiny Desk flat-out cooks. So to does this set by Ezra Collective. Enjoy!

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Have a great week ahead!  You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.


Peace & Love,

We Rhyme

We are different. But sometimes when you look in the mirror, you’re going to see me. You’re going to make different choices than I did, and that is proper. We are different people, living in different times.

Some of your wiring, your “mental map” as I call it, got connected incorrectly, through no fault of anyone. The fact is that some mis-wired connections are made during childhood because children can’t process things very well. We all learn “lessons” that are just plain wrong. So you will have some work to do, to scan your wiring and correct for these things.

I made mistakes, too. Despite my best efforts, I probably taught you some things that are wrong, or at least unhelpful. Hopefully this didn’t stick. But you should look out to correct for these mistakes as well.

Though your central core is beautiful and constant, much of the rest of your “firmware” can be updated. You can update yourself. The work of getting to know yourself, and consciously making changes is ongoing. Through fifty-six years so far, I see no end to it.

Who you are is not who you will be. Life changes us. Always for the better, if you choose. Resentment is dead weight. Blaming others, pointless. Owning every cubic inch of your self and your experiences will ensure that you keep getting better.

Of this I am certain: You are capable of far more than you will probably ever ask of yourself. We all are. The vast majority of us dream smaller than our capacity. This is fine. Only stretch for the things that light you up. Just know that everything you will ever need is inside of you already. Accessing it is fun. Trust yourself. You win, or you learn. Don’t beat yourself up. It takes a while to figure things out and get them right.

You are you, and I am me. But every apple falls close to the tree. Your genes will rustle up some ghosts. Let your light shine, everything will be fine. The past won’t repeat itself, but it will rhyme.

Sunday Supper

This year, I’m thinking of the Father’s Day meals I enjoyed when my dad was alive. Simple Grilled Steak, with the Ultimate Baked Potato and a Massive Italian salad. These Homemade Fudgsicles make for a sweet finish.

Sunday Music

The Doobie Brothers’ 50th Anniversary performance at Radio City Music is worth a listen. This John Scofield-led trio from 2023 is wonderful as well. Enjoy!

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Have a great week ahead!  You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.


Peace & Love,

Get To Memphis

The past nine days have been a whirlwind of various planning workshops, air travel, car travel, carrying furniture down stairs, and celebrating a long-time friend’s retirement. All of this, while also layering in a head cold in the middle of the week. After posting today’s essay, my Sunday will truly be a much-needed day of rest.

Two Fridays ago, Lori and I flew down to Memphis so that we could attend a day-long personal planning session at the home of Andy Bailey, a fellow EO member who did an excellent, though abbreviated, workshop in Columbus earlier this year. The program is called Boundless, and it honors all of the same principles of EOS, just applying them more to individuals rather than organizations. When I suggested to Lori that we attend, I saw it as an easy way to dedicate some focused time to thinking about our future, in a nice setting (Andy’s farm property is beautiful). And it very much delivered on that vision.

The workshop happened all-day Saturday. Our flight back to Columbus on Sunday didn’t board until around 3pm, so we had a fair amount of time to explore Memphis. We cruised around Beale Street, and took a peak at the recently-closed Comeback Cafe. I discovered Comeback’s coffee sodas in the cooler at Copia Farm a year or two ago, and was instantly smitten. So I started following them on Instagram. They are scrappy, creative entrepreneurs with a great product. Although they did close their café, their canned beverage business goes on. I’m hopeful that by simplifying their business, it will more easily grow. You can order their unique sodas online, so give them a try.

“What about the National Civil Rights Museum?” Lori asked me as we were poking around the internet, looking for things to do before heading to the airport. My first instinct was to resist this idea - it felt too much like doing my homework in grade school rather than enjoying my brief window of time on a Sunday. The reviews of the museum are stellar, which convinced us to check it out, and I’m so glad that we did.

My first instinct was right, in that visiting the museum did require something “extra” of me. It was not just a Sunday in a new town, bopping around. It was heavy. Located in the building formerly known as the Lorraine Motel where Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated April 4th, 1968, the tone of the visit was appropriately somber. Touring this museum meant re-absorbing things I had previously learned about the civil rights struggle, and adding so much new information on top of that. For every Rosa Parks, Dred Scott and Thurgood Marshall, there were ten new names for me to learn, of people making similar sacrifices in the effort to fully claim their rights as citizens of this country.

I cannot do the experience justice with my words, but I will say this: Every single American should tour this museum. No matter how much education you have received, visiting the National Civil Rights Museum will take your understanding to a much higher level.

Sharing the emotions that I felt last Sunday are a better way to get at why everyone should visit this hallowed ground. The first emotion was sadness - sadness at the misery experienced by West Africans - kidnapped, forced to row across the ocean so that their entire lives could be spent farming crops and being treated like livestock. The second emotion I felt was shame - shame for every time I chuckled at a racist joke, shame for not calling out the joke-tellers, shame for allowing people to reinforce bullshit stereotypes. I felt immense gratitude for all of the people who have leaned in to the Civil Rights effort, and the way in which they went about their efforts. As an oppressed people, to embrace Ghandi’s nonviolent approach to resistance, working within the U.S. legal system to secure rights that were already codified in our Constitution is nothing short of amazing. Lastly, I felt a fair amount of anger - anger that people had to spend decades working through a legal system to verify that yes, indeed, these rights do apply to everyone. Anger at how our fellow citizens refused to acknowledge these legal rulings even after they were adjudicated.

This experience put the present moment into clearer perspective. It’s easier for me to see how racism still exists in our society, and is working to regain leverage within the legal power structures of America. Get to Memphis. See for yourself.

Sunday Supper

The head cold that both Lori and I have had this week will be graciously escorted to the curb thanks to this Chicken Pho recipe. I’m substituting some fresh veggies from the farmer’s market, as well as some Cajun sausage and homemade beef stock to give it an extra healing kick. This Buttermilk Corn Pasta recipe looks nice, too.

Sunday Music

Memphis is the theme this week, so the Blues is on tap for our music recommendations. This 2011 performance by B.B. King at Royal Albert Hall is definitely a good listen. This 2023 performance by Gary Clark Jr. at the Beale Street Music Festival is really something too. Enjoy!

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Have a great week ahead!  You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.


Peace & Love,

Staying Alive

I’ve been reading and listening to the work Dan Sullivan quite a lot, lately. Dan is the founder of Strategic Coach, a popular coaching program for entrepreneurs. In this podcast episode that I listened to this past week, Dan suggested something that had never occurred to me before: He believes that being surrounded by younger, highly-engaged entrepreneurs is slowing his own aging relative to his octogenarian peers.

This is the psychological equivalent (in my mind) of the fact that exposing our bodies to certain types of physical stress promotes higher levels of bone density. I would not be surprised if Dan’s theory some day is validated by scientific research.

At the age of 81, Dan is more than halfway to his stated goal of living to the age of 156. I don’t know how he chose this goal, but it’s obviously ambitious. The nature of his work keeps him surrounded by 30- to 50- year old entrepreneurs, and he thinks this has made a difference in both his mental outlook and his own biology.

I remember my mother warning me during my teenage years to avoid spending time with certain peers - that they would be a bad influence on me. With the benefit of hindsight, she was clearly right. What Dan suggests is that hanging out with older people who have disengaged from life in certain ways could be a biological detriment to anyone seeking to maximize both lifespan and health span.

Could it be that achieving some level of financial freedom accelerates our own demise? That shutting down our hustle, coasting through a life of ease sends a message to our cells that “Hey, this person no longer needs to thrive.” Related to this I think are the many anecdotes we hear of elderly people who care for ailing spouses, only to decline rapidly themselves once relieved of the challenges of caregiving. We somehow rise to the challenges that surround us (to some degree).

This little nugget of an idea is going to stick with me, I think. I’m going to stay goal-oriented, engaged and seeking variety rather than monotony for the foreseeable future.

I don’t expect to live forever, but I do expect to live a lot.

Sunday Supper

Lori and I enjoyed this simple one-pot Miso-Turmeric Salmon and Coconut Rice this past week. This unique way of preparing Lemonade has caught my eye. It reminds me of a drink an Indian friend once prepared for me that was surprisingly refreshing. This Spring Salad looks great, too.

Sunday Music

The Buena Vista Social Club brought their amazing Cuban sound to the NPR Tiny Desk recently. And here is Snarky Puppy, live at North Sea Jazz, 2023. Enjoy!

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Have a great week ahead!  You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.


Peace & Love,

Might Ain’t Right

First, an administrative note: This site (my personal website, primarily the home of my weekly essays) has been moved to www.nealbell.net. I have now launched a website at www.nealbell.com in support of my EOS Implementer practice. I recognize that this only makes it harder to find my personal essays, but it made the most sense.

Lately, writing my weekly essays has become more difficult. This is partially due to the shrinking amount of time and energy I am able to devote to this weekly practice. For me, writing these essays is the best way for me to make sense of life as it plays out. I share my thoughts broadly, primarily so that just two people can access them, should they ever wish to do so (my offspring). Having a weekly deadline puts me “on the hook” to make an entry into this weekly journal, and I think it is good for me.

A second reason that writing has become more difficult is because the things that have most been on my mind are things that I really didn’t want to focus on, or share publicly due to the inherent polarizing nature of the topics.

But it is 7:10am this Sunday, and my self-imposed deadline to publish is 8:30am, and the issue occupying my mind is what it is.

Eighty-three weeks ago, I wrote a post titled Remote Control Bullying. In it, I talked about the concept of stochastic terrorism, which is defined as “a form of political violence instigated by hostile public rhetoric directed at a group or an individual. Unlike incitement to terrorism, stochastic terrorism is accomplished with indirect, vague or coded language, which grants the instigator plausible deniability for any associated violence.” That essay from 83 weeks ago cited three specific examples of stochastic terrorism that were playing out across America: voter intimidation at poll sites, the storming of the Capitol building on January 6th, 2021, and the foiled plot by 14 people to kidnap Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer.

Since being re-elected to the American Presidency, Donald Trump has taken two actions with regard to the items I wrote about 83 weeks ago. On the first day of his recently-won 2nd term, he pardoned more than 1,500 people convicted of offenses related to the storming of the Capitol on January 6th, 2021. More recently, Trump’s Department of Justice agreed to pay the family of January 6th rioter Ashli Babbitt almost $5 million to settle a wrongful death lawsuit. And in this week’s news cycle, recently-appointed DOJ attorney Ed Martin Jr. said that he is going to take a "hard look" at two men who are serving long prison terms for leading a conspiracy to kidnap Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer.

The message is clear: Violence committed in support of things that Donald Trump views as positive are no longer illegal. Commit violence on his behalf, then patiently wait in jail for your pardon. If you are killed while committing these acts, your surviving family will be financially compensated.

Donald Trump is America’s President, and the power to pardon people resides with that office. So all of this is perfectly legal. But we should ask ourselves, eighty three weeks since I last addressed this topic, whether this type of “leadership” is going to inspire more violence.

I wish this wasn’t what was on my mind this morning. But there it is. This Memorial Day weekend, as we mourn the loss of our U.S. servicemen and women, I reflect on their sacrifice and this ongoing abuse of leadership.

Sunday Supper

We are enjoying some Korean flavors this weekend. Give this Grilled Gochujang Pork With Fresh Sesame Kimchi a try. These Spicy Cucumbers With Mint, Scallions and Crushed Peanuts are a perfect compliment. And keep the spice rolling with these Gochujang Caramel Cookies.

Sunday Music

I can think of no one better to listen to this Memorial Day than one of America’s greatest musical storytellers, Mr. Bruce Springsteen. Enjoy!

If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. 

Have a great week ahead!  You can do anything you set your mind to.  Let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Commencement Speech

This weekend was graduation day for many colleges and universities. Yesterday Lori and I made a brief appearance at the grad party of a young man who was in our younger son’s graduating class in high school.

As I was getting cleaned up and dressed for the evening, a simple sentence came into my head to share with the young man when I saw him: “You never have to grow up, but you must always keep learning.” Reflecting on this statement, it does seem to cover a lot of ground.

Looking back to my own graduation, I do recall some degree of dread around entering “the real world.” This meant taking on a certain amount of drudgery, of being geographically separated from my college friends, paying bills, performing tasks at work that were basic, repetitive, perhaps mind-numbing. This daily grind I am describing is summed up by this commercial from the mid-80s.

With many more years down the road, I am pleased to report that even though certain boring, repetitive tasks are unavoidable, we humans are able to master them rather easily. This allows us to get back to horsing around and amusing ourselves much in the same way we would amuse ourselves in our youth. In fact, consciously trying to channel more child-like open-mindedness has become a key to retaining access to my own creativity and imagination over the years.

So, we don’t have to “grow up.” It’s entirely optional.

But we always, always, always have to keep learning. The world is changing too fast to think that we will ever fully know what we need to know. There may have been such a time at the apex of the post-World War II “goldilocks” period, when the charts tracking our prosperity were all moving up and to the right, and the world was relatively peaceful. But that period is behind us. The world is more dynamic and uncertain today, and sadly less peaceful. So we need to keep learning, using our innate childlike creativity to navigate this dynamism.

So there it is - a commencement address in one sentence.

For those of you wondering why I’ve made no mention of our dog Nova thus far, it’s because we had to say goodbye to her last Wednesday. As sad as it was, Lori and I know that we “stuck the landing,” interceding to end our girl’s discomfort quickly, before it became too much to ask (while maximizing our time together). That sweet pooch had an optimal life, given the hand that she had been dealt, health-wise. I hope that we can all be so lucky.

Sunday Supper

The last couple of weekends, I’ve purchased two bunches of beets, prepping and eating them in their entirety - roots, stems and greens. At $4/bunch, this is an amazing value. For eight bucks I can roast a half-sheet pan of the roots, all the while sautéing a big pan of the greens and stems with some onion and garlic, finishing them with a little acid, like lemon juice or some type of vinegar (I like a couple dashes of Tabasco as well). This recipe for Sautéed Beet Greens is a great basic approach to cooking beet greens. These Lemon-Pepper Chicken Breasts are fun. This Spicy Ground Turkey and Snap Peas looks healthy and leans into Spring peas.

Sunday Music

Play this Jazz Piano playlist, and you’ll get an idea of how cool it is to have Lori sitting at the baby grand in your living room. This collaboration between and Dixie Chicks and James Taylor is worth a listen, too. Enjoy!

If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. 



Have a great week ahead!  You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.


Peace & Love,

Iron City Insights

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers who might be reading this! It’s been more than three years since my mom passed, and sometimes I still half-expect to bump into her at Ross’ Market. Time marches on…

Another quick Nova update, since so many of you ask me about our dog: She continues to hang in there, even though the growth on her forehead continues to get more pronounced. Who knows how long this can continue without other symptoms presenting themselves? We’re just loving her and keeping a close eye on her behavior and other symptoms. One day at a time…

I had a fantastic retreat with my EO Forum mates in Pittsburgh this past week. Each time I step away from the day-to-day, I marvel at how impactful it can be to simply take a clarity break - it is then supercharged when we are surrounded by amazing people.

Our first day together was focused on catching up with each other, and thinking big. We visited Fallingwater, the warhol, and Randyland. Soaking in the work of people who are/were so different from their peers was very refreshing.

Day Two we each underwent a SWOT analysis, followed by a Hoshin Kanri exercise to stack rank the various opportunities and determine which warranted our focused effort in the months ahead. We also were blown away by some real-world examples of how Artificial Intelligence (AI) can be applied to each of our businesses.

Day Three was all about laying out our plans for the next few months - in detail, with specific, measurable outcomes that we will all be tracking and sharing with each other. It feels great to have so much clarity regarding what I need to do (and why), and some accountability buddies to support each other as we get to work.

We enjoyed great meals at the Monterey Bay Fish Grotto at the top of Mt. Washington overlooking the city, and Senti (which served the best lasagna I’ve ever had at a restaurant). Of course, for lunch one day we had to order sandwiches from Primanti Brothers. The Dog Penn was a super-fun spot for pre-dinner cocktails one night. As luck would have it, CrossFit Athletics was just two blocks from the Southside AirBnB rental we secured for our group, so I was able to work out early to start each day.

Pittsburgh is a great city! I highly recommend a visit. I also recommend taking quarterly clarity breaks. Strongly consider it, even if you think you can’t spare the time. It will yield a net time savings by giving you more clarity and focus. Trust me, I’ve gone through this mental wrestling match. This ritual has proven its value to me.

Sunday Supper

I’m making Lori a wonderful omelet with cheese and mushrooms from the Granville Farmers Market for Mother's Day brunch, along with some roasted fingerling potatoes. For supper, I’m going to prep this great Bolognese sauce (and serve it over roasted cauliflower for a low-carb meal). These Sheet-Pan Sun-Dried Tomato Chicken Bowls also look delicious.

Sunday Music

This performance by the Brad Mehldau Trio is so good. So is this performance/interview with Sierra Hull on World Cafe. Enjoy!

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Have a great week ahead!  You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.


Peace & Love,

Tenacity & Quitting

First, a Nova note: She is still with us, hanging in there. We are loving every moment we have with our beautiful puppy girl. Thanks to everyone who has sent kind notes regarding her situation.

Not completely unrelated to managing Nova’s declining health, I often ponder the challenge of striking the right balance between staying tenacious and deciding when to abandon a goal.

Media is rife with stories of people who irrationally hung in there, eventually accomplishing something amazing. JK Rowling, who eventually published the Harry Potter book series, making her wealthier than the Queen of England. Harland Sanders and his tenacious pursuit of growing the Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant chain (he was in his 60s before it was successful). Steve Jobs being forced out of Apple, only to return and save it from the brink of ruin. Unreasonably tenacious sometimes pays off.

And then there are those whose path to their greatest success can be attributed to strategic quitting. Oprah Winfrey had to leave he co-anchor position on WJZ-TV in Baltimore in order for her creativity to conceive of her talk show. Jeff Bezos had to leave a well-paying job to start Amazon. And Reed Hastings (founder of Netflix) had to sell his successful software business before he would land on the initial idea that made Netflix such a success (no late fees).

Of course, the literal polar opposite of Netflix was Blockbuster Video. They were tenacious - irrationally hanging on to their late fee-driven business model, riding it all the way down to bankruptcy. And Kodak, tenaciously insisting it was in the film processing business rather than photography. Jeffrey Katzenberg and Meg Whitman lit almost $2 billion on fire, insisting that their short-format video streaming business, Quibi, would be successful before finally pulling the plug. Plenty of people ride their tenaciousness all the way to ruin.

And sometimes we quit too soon. Ronald Wayne had a 10% stake in Apple computer, but got cold feet just 12 days into the venture and cashed out his $800 - which would be worth more than $100 billion today. There was a time in the late 1970s when Ross Perot had an opportunity to purchase Microsoft for something like $6 - $15 million, but decided it was was too rich for his blood, and walked away from hundreds of billions of dollars.

This is all to say that there are examples of tenaciousness paying off, and tenaciousness leading to ruin. Strategic quitting has unlocked major successes, and rendered some people an object lesson in poor decision-making.

Maybe there is no rhyme or reason. Maybe it mostly boils down to luck. I’d like to think these are some decent rules for striking a balance between Hanging In There and Bailing:

• Do your best to clearly define what success and failure looks like for any given project.

• Reflect often - take the time to really review how the project is going. Don’t get caught on the treadmill of doing, doing, doing such that you stop thinking.

• Don’t fall for the sunk cost fallacy. Just because resources have been spent does not mean you obligated to keep spending your way to ruin.

• Opportunity Costs are real, too. What else could you be spending your precious time and other resources on if you shut down the current project?

Signs you should hang in there a while longer:

• You are seeing incremental progress, but its slower than you expected.

• The underlying reasons for pursuing the goal remain valid.

• You haven’t yet implemented your full strategy (give it a chance).

• The obstacles you face are related to execution, not fundamental flaws in your thesis.

Signs it may be time to quit:

• Despite genuine effort, very little progress has been made.

• The landscape has changed that makes your goal less valuable.

• You’ve discovered a (previously unknown) superior alternative that renders your goal moot.

• Continuing would require sacrificing core values or well-being.

There is no path through life that doesn’t continue a few “what ifs.” It’s hard to know when to re-commit to something, versus choosing an entirely new direction. The easiest person to fool is often ourselves - cultivating objectiveness and sometimes brutal honesty with yourself will help you make the tough call.

Sunday Supper

These Potato-Cheese Pierogies w/ Bacon look fun and delicious. Get a jump on Cinco de Mayo with these Chicken Fajitas, or this Mexican Chopped Salad with Cumin Vinaigrette.

Sunday Music

This recent performance by Madison McFerrin at the NPR Tiny Desk is fun - exploratory in ways that make sense when you realize that she is the daughter of Mr. Bobby McFerrin. And here’s a jam from Goose, from last December. Enjoy!

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Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.


Peace & Love,

A Week In The Life

I was not firing on all cylinders this past week. Monday morning I had some minor oral surgery. Afterwards, my mouth felt like I had been forced to eat an entire box of Cap’n Crunch cereal without milk in five minutes or less, followed immediately by eating the hottest slice of cheese pizza imaginable. Thankfully, my mouth feels better today.

Our dog Nova’s decline continues, and it has started to disrupt my sleep. Friday morning, worried that the veterinarian would not be available to us should we need them over the weekend, I made an appointment to have them lay eyes on my girl before the end of the day. I didn’t think we would need to say goodbye right then and there, but I needed their experienced opinion to reassure me that she would make it through another weekend.

When it comes to knowing when the right time is to let them go, my years of living with pets can be distilled into one sentence: “A day early is better than a day late.” So I’m being vigilant. I’ll be surprised if she is still with us this time next week. This sucks, but it has been a joy to have her in our lives, and I know that she has had the best life possible. This is an obligation from which I would never shy away. We’re doing things right.

I spent a few hours in the Denison Biological Reserve Saturday, walking the trails and having some thoughtful conversations with a few good men. The morning started off cool and breezy, warming up by 2pm when we all went our separate ways. All the walking, sun and fresh air made it easy to catch a much-needed nap when I returned home.

Despite my sadness, my lack of rest, my fuzzy mind state, I know what I need to focus on, work-wise in the days ahead. This clarity is reassuring. I may not accomplish as much as I would in a “normal” week, but I will work with focus, accepting the fact that the week will not be normal.

Regular readers of my essays will know that I like to reflect on each week, trying to discern some central theme and drilling into it a bit. Lately the themes have circled around grief and mortality. I feel like I have reached my current limit in examining them, and apologize for their repeated appearance. But Nova has been the star of the show this week.

I was tempted to skip the weekly writing ritual. Nobody wants to hear more of this sad shit from me. But a deadline is a deadline. I believe in showing up, even when I don’t have much in the tank. So here it is. See you next week.

Sunday Supper

My sore mouth was soothed by this soft, smooth Spring Risotto this past week. This Apple and Fennel Salad looks good. And this Thai Hot-and-Sour Coconut Chicken Soup looks distinctive and soothing.

Sunday Music

This morning vinyl/dub set is a good way to ease into this Sunday morning. This cover of Prince’s How Come U Don't Call Me Anymore is so well done. So too is this cover of the Goo Goo Dolls song, Iris. Enjoy!

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Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.


Peace & Love,

Born Again (And Again)

Yesterday I mowed the lawn for the first time this year. The smell of fresh-cut grass a guarantee that Spring is here.

As my Christian friends commemorate the resurrection of Jesus today, I find myself thinking about the many times my life has been renewed over the years.

There was the time when, in grade school, I first stood up to a bully. Or when I first performed on stage. All of life’s early rites of passage: romantic relationships and friendships that run their course. Absorbing lots of knowledge during college, then realizing how much more I still had to learn. Marriage, parenthood, and now empty-nesterhood. Entrepreneurship. They all turned me into a fundamentally different version of myself.

One of the central lessons of my life is the lesson of impermanence. On some time scale, everything here on Earth comes to an end. Anything that is truly eternal is mostly beyond my comprehension, and I am comfortable with this.

Every night we fall asleep, and awake renewed. Every Fall the leaves drop from the trees, Winter sets in, then eventually the trees bud again. The spring peepers herald yet another year of renewal. Our friends and loved ones drop like leaves, each on their own unique schedule.

After a few decades, we begin to notice patterns. And we begin to recognize that we can intentionally revise and renew ourselves. We can seek out specific transformational experiences. We can take on specific challenges that we know will require something new of us. We stop chasing shallow, meaningless things and focus on the most important. This heightens our engagement with life, making every day special, and too brief.

I know that not everyone experiences the full spectrum of the progression I describe. I’m sure that other people might look at my timeline and think “Wow, he really missed out on some good lessons.”

One of the coolest things about this current point in time for me is talking with my adult children, getting a sense of how they are navigating their lives. I try to mostly be a sounding board, asking open-ended questions. Posing “what if” thought experiments. Helping them examine important decisions from as many angles as possible, and expressing confidence in their ability to make the choice that is right for them.

I’ve come to believe that one of the tallest tasks for all of us is to simply develop our self awareness. The more we know about ourselves, what lights us up (and why), the easier it is to make the right decisions for ourselves. If you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there. It takes time to figure out what roads we should be traveling.

Early in my life, I think I tended to follow the path of least resistance, and was pretty random in terms of trying different things. Pruning out pathways after finding those that were not right for me. It’s the rare 18-year old that knows exactly what they want to do with their life, and runs straight at it. We tend to bounce around a bit, before settling into something that works for us.

We all start somewhere, and hopefully advance in a positive direction from there. I am immensely grateful for the position I find myself in today - and for the fact that tomorrow can be even better.

Sunday Supper

We’re going to enjoy this Chicken Shawarma on salad greens today, and these Horseradish Deviled Eggs. These Chocolate Easter Egg Nests look like a fun holiday treat.

Sunday Music

Imagine driving through Eau Claire Wisconsin, listening to this interview of Justin Vernon by Krista Tippet and learning that he grew up in Eau Claire. That happened to me this past week. So I had to feature him here - this live performance for NPR is wonderful. This performance by Hania Rani is lovely as well. Enjoy!

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Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.


Peace & Love,

Master’s Sunday

The trees have shed many branches over the winter. So I need to spend an hour or two picking up the sticks before I can begin to mow the lush green grass in the yard. The dead ornamental grass needs to be cut and composted, in order for the spring daffodils to flourish. There are any number of work-related things I could/should be doing today. I will do none of them. Instead, the sport of golf will get most of my energy today.

Today in Augusta, Georgia, Rory McIlroy and Bryson DeChambeau will play in the final group of the final round of The Masters tournament, each vying for their first green jacket. If McIlroy wins, he will complete the “career Grand Slam,” winning each of golf’s four major tournaments at least one time. He would be just the sixth person to ever accomplish this feat. Bryson has won just one major tournament thus far in his career - last year’s U.S. Open, but he did so by overtaking McIlroy on the final hole of the 72-hole tournament, accomplishing a miraculous up-and-down from a sand bunker 80 yards from the pin.

I am often ambivalent about being a spectator of high-level athletic competitions, preferring to be active in my own chosen arena(s) rather than passively sitting on the sidelines, rooting for others. But this year the stars have lined up and I’m all-in on seeing how the tournament plays out today.

The key aspect of competitive golf is the zen-like mental challenge it poses. The amount of present-moment awareness one needs in order to perfectly execute a given golf shot is enormous. And then there is the paradox of maintaining a sense of non-attachment to the outcome of any given shot. Converting the strong desire for the ball to go into the hole into a focus on executing exactly the intended stroke, regardless of outcome, is the essential challenge of the game.

Effortless effort, trying not to try…just letting events unfold while contributing to them with your highest and best intention. Balancing this with one’s competitive urges, with one’s desires for recognition - this is what golf fans everywhere will be tuning in to watch today. How do these guys perform with so much at stake?

I have a 1:40pm tee time today to play a round with friends. This should wrap up in time for us to see the final groups play the last few holes of the tournament. A perfect balance between my fascination with today’s drama in Augusta, and my desire to actually be in the arena. My friends in North Carolina and Texas have been playing plenty of golf already this year. But in Ohio, today is Opening Day.

Sunday Supper

I’m popping a big roaster full of this Barbacoa recipe in the oven before heading to the golf course this afternoon. This Asparagus Quiche is a perfect Spring dish. These Cheesy Cuban Chicken Taquitos look fun. For a sweet finish, how about these Lemon Sugar Cookie Ice Cream Sandwiches?

Sunday Music

This Sunday Morning Playlist from Seiju is a nice way to start this day. This performance by Nubya Garcia at the NPR Tiny Desk is also fantastic. Enjoy!

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Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.


Peace & Love,

Ohana

This week I had the good fortune to attend Entrepreneur Organization’s Global Leadership Conference in Honolulu, Hawaii. Without fail, surrounding myself with the energy, intellect and excellence of hundreds of entrepreneurs revs me up like nothing else. It has been quite a while since I’ve attended a global EO event, so the energy here felt especially fresh and vibrant.

The theme of the conference was Ohana, a Hawaiian term signifying family, but in a broader sense. Beyond blood relatives, Ohana includes our closest friends, adopted family, and other close-knit communities to which we belong. In the opening session, a Hawaiian elder explained that Ohana also includes those family members who are no longer with us. He used the phrase “The past is in front of us, and the future is behind us.” This sounds confusing to the uninitiated, but it makes sense when you think that our parents who have passed away have given us a glimpse of our own future, and as we approach the end of our lives, those of us with children know that our children will carry a piece of us into the future. I appreciate the expansiveness of the concept.

As I prepare to lead EO Columbus’ membership recruitment efforts starting July 1st, I will be working to grow Central Ohio’s entrepreneurial community with this same expansive mindset.

One of the many benefits of being an EO member is the access the organization offers to world-class thought leaders. This week included keynote speeches and chats with Guy Kawasaki, Brad Montague, Deepak Chopra, Ryan Holiday and Marcus Lemonis. Each offered valuable insights, and made me so grateful to be a part of this community and able to work with so many amazing people to grow and strengthen it further.

Children’s author and creator of the amazing YouTube video series, Kid President - Brad Montague was for me the surprise hit of the conference. His creativity and passion are contagious. Talking about how entrepreneurs love to sink their teeth into “probertunities,” and his recognition that failure is a part of the process of growth with his Fail-A-Bration initiative were both funny and memorable. He reminded us that the two stories leaders must always be sharing are: 1) This is who we are, and 2) This is where we’re going.

Montague pointed out that using data helps us promote knowledge, but that good stories promote belief.

Lastly, he offered four rules for being a Time Scout (you must attend one of Montague’s Future Camp workshops to to learn what a Time Scout is). These rules apply to your average run-of-the-mill leaders too:

1) You cannot change the past.

2) We are custodians of NOW.

3) Time is to be experienced, not conquered. Enjoy it.

4) Clean up after yourself.

As business educator Peter Drucker once said, “The best way to predict the future is to create it.” Go visit the future, Time Scouts, then come back to the present and get to work.

Sunday Supper

This Green Goddess Roasted Chicken looks amazing. I look forward to trying this Vietnamese Shrimp and Quinoa Salad recipe in the week ahead.

Sunday Music

Here’s some wonderful Hawaiian steel guitar music to soothe your Sunday. Enjoy!

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Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.


Peace & Love,

Community Table

We had our first bona fide dinner party in a long, long time last night. Lori and I, plus three other couples. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and it was so true in this case.

The conversations were special. We’ve been apart long enough to see just how different we are today from the last time we gathered together. Obviously, a little older, a little more gray in our hair. But grounded in something closer to base level truth. We’ve all wrestled with health issues (our own and/or loved ones), gone on adventures, with more planned in the months ahead. We’ve gotten more hip to the various ways people numb themselves here in the U S of A.

I had hoped to make the Bolognese Lasagna Rolls featured in last week’s essay for last night’s gathering. The recipe was elaborate enough that I felt I should make a test run last week to ensure that I could pull it off. The test went reasonably well, but it took a lot of time - more than I had available at the end of this week for a kitchen project. So I ordered a pan of lasagna from Vincenzo’s, and it was delicious. Making this choice is a sign of personal growth, believe it or not. The money/time/taste trade was completely worth it in this case. The point of the evening was the people, not to showcase my culinary skills.

Saving my energy for our guests, rather than spending it all in a mad dash of cooking, was the exact right approach. Speaking of energy, I did not partake in any alcohol consumption last night. So I woke this morning well-rested. I would characterize my relationship with alcohol as “default dry” - preferring to not drink generally, but allowing for the occasional exception.

Last night felt like a “moment” - the moment when we were able to re-join the broader community in some fundamental way. I’m looking forward to experiencing more of this kind of reunion in the weeks and months ahead.

Sunday Supper

This Burgoo looks like a great Sunday meal to prep, that could carry you into the week with some sturdy leftovers. This Cornbread recipe would pair wonderfully with it. This Blackened Salmon Caesar Salad sounds great, too.

Sunday Music

This Sunday I share with you a live performance by one of America’s under-appreciated singer/songwriters, Mr. John Hiatt. Enjoy!

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Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.


Peace & Love,

Open & Shut

Recently in one of my social media feeds, I saw The Atlantic promoting a recent article by Boris Kachka titled The Danger of a Too-Open Mind. The premise of the title captured me. The more common observation is when someone is too closed-minded. To flip this and ask the question “What does it mean to be too open-minded?” Is a great thought experiment. I have not yet read the article, but intend to. In the meantime, I will engage with the thought experiment here.

Closed-mindedness is the more thoroughly documented end of the spectrum. It includes the person who refuses to sample new cuisine, the person who limits their information diet to just a few narrow media outlets, and the patient who rejects their doctor’s counsel because it conflicts with something they read online. On the extremely open-minded end of the spectrum, we find people who believe that the Earth is flat, that 9/11 was an inside job, and that vaccines don’t work.

So what is the optimal stance for a civic-minded person to maintain in the face of our human tendency to rationalize things or suffer confirmation bias, when the digital world is flooded with misinformation explicitly designed to confuse us? How do we know when it is appropriate to change our minds?

Finding the right balance between being too closed-minded and too open-minded involves developing a thoughtful approach to evaluating new ideas. Here are some strategies:

Practice evidence-based thinking: Be willing to consider new perspectives, but require reasonable proof before fully accepting them.

Develop healthy skepticism: Question claims while remaining genuinely open to being convinced. This differs from cynicism (assuming everything is false) and gullibility (accepting everything as true).

Recognize your biases: We all have cognitive biases that influence our thinking. Being aware of these tendencies helps you compensate for them when evaluating information.

Seek diverse perspectives: Intentionally expose yourself to viewpoints that differ from your own, particularly from credible sources with different backgrounds or expertise.

Apply proportional confidence: Match your level of certainty to the quantity and quality of available evidence.

Establish evaluation criteria: Before considering a new idea or approach, determine what would need to be true for it to be valid.

Practice intellectual humility: Acknowledge the limits of your knowledge and expertise. Be willing to say "I don't know" and to change your mind when warranted.

Consider practical consequences: Evaluate both the potential benefits and risks of accepting new ideas, especially before making significant changes based on them.

Give ideas appropriate time: Some concepts need sufficient testing before you can fairly evaluate them, while others may deserve prompt rejection if they lack basic plausibility.

Focus on learning, not winning: Approach disagreements as opportunities to deepen understanding rather than competitions to be won.

Our goal shouldn't be perfect neutrality but rather a mindful approach that's receptive to valuable new ideas while maintaining critical standards for what you ultimately accept.

Our minds should be neither fully open, nor fully closed. They should always be a ajar - narrowed enough to spare us the time and energy required to examine the most outlandish things, but open enough to let through real breakthroughs in our understanding of what is true about the world.

Sunday Supper

These Bolognese Lasagna Rosettes look amazing, though very labor-intensive. This salad would be a good complement to the pasta dish. And Cereal Milk Panna Cotta for a fantastic finish.

Sunday Music

This Sunday morning, please enjoy this Cozy Pancakes Brunch Bar Jazz mix as you figure out just how far you need to open (or close) your mind for optimal discernment of reality. This performance by Aretha Franklin of the American classic (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman at the 2015 celebration of Carole King’s contribution to the arts at the Kennedy Center gets me every time. Enjoy!

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Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.


Peace & Love,

Last Of His Kind

“Dad passing today, will report later.” - a concise, jarring message to get from Lori just before I was to jump on a ZOOM meeting Wednesday morning. Her dad’s health has been in steady decline for the better part of the past year. We knew he wasn’t far from the finish line, but as my friend Peter says, living gets to be quite a habit. In my experience no matter how much it may make rational sense, the finality of a loved one taking their last breath really packs a punch. And so it did with Jack.

Born in Strasburg, Ohio 1930, Jack Fuhrer enlisted in the Air Force during the Korean War. Color blindness prevented him from becoming an Air Force pilot. Instead he became a two-way radio technician and spent his service years in Japan. Upon returning to Ohio, Jack spent much of his life farming. Like my dad, Jack could fix anything - an essential skill for keeping farm equipment running.

In his 30s, Jack broke some things that could not be completely fixed - his ankles. He fell off the roof of a house he was working on, landing awkwardly on some construction debris. A tough injury, but Jack was tougher. His ankles were effectively if not literally fused, making them far less mobile than normal. Once he healed up to the point of “good enough,” Jack just got on with things. I never heard him complain about it, ever. The injury left him with poor blood flow in his feet, which made it really hard to heal even the lightest abrasions he might get on his feet.

His mechanical acumen and love of aviation meant that he would become an avid private pilot. He built (and rebuilt) multiple aircraft, and owned many others over the years. He spread this love of flying to his son Herb, and grandson Josh (who is now a commercial pilot). I forget the age at which no insurance company would sell him Pilot Insurance (somewhere in his 80s, I think) - at that point he simply purchased a different class of aircraft (experimental) that required no such insurance. Just as with his ankle issues, Jack just kept going.

He wasn’t as talkative as some people - but when he had something to say, it was usually pretty memorable. Hmmm…an obstinate contrarian with a razor-sharp wit…I’m trying to think if that reminds me of anyone…it’ll come to me.

While only some of his kids took up his passion for flying, they all received a healthy dose of his stubbornness. As Jack’s needs for support increased these last few years, Lori and her brothers simply increased their support of him. The goal was to allow him to die at home, and they came very close to achieving this. Despite their heroic efforts, it was in Jack’s best interests to spend some time in a long-term care facility - but only a few weeks.

Jack is the last grandparent to leave us. My dad passed in 2008 - too soon to be memorialized in this weekly essay. Next came my mom in 2021, then Lori’s mom in 2023. From the time of my mom’s cancer diagnosis in 2020 until this week, a consistent, significant amount of our weekly energy has been devoted to supporting our parents as their lives wound down. Knowing that this gauntlet has come to an end carries extra weight. We have immense gratitude for being able to do what we have done, and very real relief that it is no longer required.

It’s time to rest a bit, regroup - and then get right back at it. Life is for the living. Jack Fuhrer sure wrung out every drop of living that he could. We’ll do the same.

Sunday Supper

Tomorrow is St. Patrick’s Day. So Corned Beef Hash makes sense. And these Potato Pancakes seem comforting. I must admit, I got a Shamrock Shake at McDonald’s this week - this version is better, especially if you use Jeni’s ice cream, Snowville Whole Milk and ditch the food coloring. Lastly, I made this Beet Salad last week, and loved it. If you love beets, you will too.

Sunday Music

This song by Jason Isbell makes me think of Jack. Willie Nelson is just three years younger than Jack - here is Willie singing You Were Always On My Mind just last year. To wrap up, here’s Gregory Alan Isakov performing live on KEXP about one year ago. Enjoy!

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Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.


Peace & Love,

Tied For First Place

At Nova’s annual check-up about two weeks ago, Dr. Wagner noticed a lump high on her snout, skewing right-of-center not far from her eye. As soon as he pointed it out, it was obvious, but up until that point I had not noticed it at all. Something about her brindle coat made it invisible, I guess. We agreed that I would monitor it and update him in two weeks. It only took one before I felt compelled to call him. She’d been sneezing a fair amount, and once produced a big goober with some blood in it. That was a enough for us to schedule an X-ray and a needle biopsy to start diagnosing what we were observing.

The word came last Tuesday that it is likely a sarcoma, and that more imaging (a CT-scan this time) would be required to understand in detail where this mass is positioned in her head, and whether it is in the bone of her skull. From there a treatment plan that would likely include surgery, radiation, and perhaps chemotherapy can be drafted. (FYI - Everything Dr. Wagner told me was reaffirmed by the Claude AI when I entered a few queries into it immediately after speaking with him. Claude estimates the cost of the treatment plan between $7,000 - $20,000.)

Having lost both of my parents to cancer, this situation feels very familiar. I’m going to meet with the doctors at the fancy corporate veterinary outfit (rhymes with “Red Bet”), but am wary of the expense of the treatment, and how much discomfort it might impose on this creature that I love so much. I can see how easy it would be to pull out all of the stops to fight the disease, so my inner contrarian kicks in to offset this urge. And my mental map has already been programmed to think that if cancer gets the drop on you, your goose is already cooked. But I want to learn a bit more before deciding on the path forward.

At it’s root, this situation is testing my theories for how I would manage my own cancer diagnosis, should I ever receive one. Under certain circumstances, I would like to think that I would have the grace to just let nature take its course. My puppy girl is 9 years old - at best having 5-6 years left in the absence of the cancer. I think the oldest dog we’ve ever had died at 12 or 13 years of age.

This situation is also testing my ability to accept things that are beyond my control, focusing instead on things I can actually impact with my efforts.

When I sweet talk her, I often tell Nova that she’s my Best Girl - but I always add the caveat “You’re tied for first place.” I have loved each of my dogs so much that it feels like a disservice to place my current dog higher in the pecking order than the ones that came before. To the extent that Nova is any better than Ella, Coltrane or Margot, it’s only because the earlier dogs trained me to be a better owner.

Nova is still 100% herself, and in no discomfort. We’ll learn more in the days ahead, and enjoy every day to the fullest. I’ll be keeping a close eye on this turtle sundae-mottled glamour queen and snuggling with her hard on the couch every night.

Sunday Supper

With one of our man-children home for Spring Break this week, I intend to make this Pasta e Fagioli to keep us all fed (I’m going to cook some tortellini separately, folding it into the bean soup for those of us who can eat gluten). This Gochugaru Salmon with Crispy Rice also looks amazing.

Sunday Music

This performance by Saya Gray at the NPR Tiny Desk is fun. Alfa Mist delivers almost an hour of their fun grooves here. Enjoy!

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Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.


Peace & Love,

Systems Thinking

I read a really good book this week and I want to share some thoughts about it. It is an easy read, so if this brief overview resonates I highly recommend read it in its entirety. It is called The Power of Systems: How To Create A Life That Works, and it is co-authored by Steve Chandler & Trevor Timbeck. This book was the most succinct, efficient takedown of what I call my “negative inner critic” than I could have ever dreamed of. After reading the last page, I thought “Well, now you can stop beating yourself up, Neal, and just focus on revising the systems in your life that aren’t working.” I may need to re-read the book from time-to-time to reinforce things, but it’s possible that the lesson will stick without such reinforcement. It’s just that simple and straightforward.

It’s premise is that the achieving the outcomes that we seek need not be a function of personal willpower. For example, consider the following three systems for achieving the outcome of exercising at the gym five times a week:

System 1: Wake up each morning, see how I feel, look at my calendar and then decide when to go to the gym.

System 2: Create a spreadsheet to track the number of days each week I make it to the gym. Block out five gym sessions on my calendar over the next week. Every Sunday, enter the number of workouts into the spreadsheet and schedule five more workouts for the following week.

System 3: Looking out two weeks into the future, for each and every day block out two times to work out at the gym, labeling them “Gym Plan A” and “Gym Plan B.” When you wake up each day, commit to at least one of those workout times and attend. On days when you have achieved your weekly goal of five workouts, you can delete both the A and B options if you feel like your body needs a rest day.

Three different approaches to achieving the same outcome. Depending on the person who is implementing the system, one of them will prove to be more effective than the others. And think of how many other approaches exist - lots of options for finding the best approach for any individual.

So, whatever your goals (exercise, work stuff, cleaning/organizing the house, whatever) - stop beating yourself up about your lack of resolve or lack of willpower and examine the current system that is not working. Try something new.

What if you gave yourself grace, choosing to not be self-critical, not dwelling on the past things that haven’t been working? What if you came up with a new plan, an intentional plan, and gave it a whirl?

This approach to living fits nicely with the concepts in James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits. The talk that Clear gave at the Bryn Du Mansion last Fall continues to resonate for me. His basic message is: “Make it as easy as possible to do the things that need done to create the future you desire.” That sounds like a system to me.

Don’t dwell on the psychology of why you didn’t do the thing that you know you want to do! Simply reconfigure your system of doing into something that works. If you think this is some cute workaround, who cares - so long as it works? Perhaps revising a personal system is simply a way of renewing our vows to the goal we still desire. Renew that vow, and get after it.

Sunday Supper

Mardi Gras is this Tuesday. Throw a few strands of beads around your neck and make yourself a nice bowl of Gumbo, or Red Beans & Rice. I’m a sucker for Fattoush, too.

Sunday Music

Here’s Jason Isbell performing a new song from his recently-released solo acoustic album, Foxes In The Snow. And here is ninety minutes of Jazzy Jane playing the songs of Bill Evans. This time of year I always think of his song, You Must Believe In Spring. Enjoy!

If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. 



Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.


Peace & Love,