Building A Great Past
Reversing your temporal focus.
In the maelstrom of a busy week, I was reminded of a concept I heard on Dan Sullivan’s podcast (he credits someone else with it). The concept is this: Instead of being focused on building a great future, shift to creating a great past.
The challenge of being future-centric is that, like the horizon, the future never really arrives. But the past is always there to appreciate.
This switch puts me more in the present - what can I do right now, today, that I know I will look back on favorably?
I just set my Q4 goals. Every weekend when I look back on the previous week, I know there are a certain number of business development actions I want to have taken. I know how many times I want to have gone to the gym.
There’s always more to do, but what have you already done? Taking stock of what you’ve already done connects to another Dan Sullivan idea: The Gap And The Gain. Looking toward the future, where our dreams have not yet been fully realized, we focus on the gap between where we are and where we want to be. This can create a sense of scarcity. Looking at the past allows us to see how far we have come, which feels more abundant.
This switch in orientation shows up in my work, too. In the EOS sessions that I lead, I often tell the teams I coach that the quarterly goals they set (we call them “Rocks”) are gifts to their future selves. Upon leaving the session, I want them to focus solely on executing against these goals, trusting their past selves to have done a thorough job of crafting them. Both orientations have their place; the trick is knowing which one serves us best at any given time.
These may just be “head games,” but head games might be the entire ball game. You’re allowed to choose whichever mindsets that serve you best.
This coming Friday, take a few minutes to review your week, and make note of the good things you have accomplished. Let me know how it makes you feel.
I wish you a constantly improving past.
Sunday Supper
Tahini Banana Oatmeal w/ Maple Syrup and Sesame Seeds
Sunday Music
Ana Pshokina & Taras Kuznetsov
Sienna Spiro on Austin City Limits
Stevie Wonder Songs In The Key of Life
Enjoy!
If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them.
Have a great week ahead! You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love,
Mental Whiteboard
Using visualization to tidy up the past and prepare for the future.
This is an extension of last week’s essay - where I wrote about how sometimes my active mind keeps me up at night, processing the events of the day (often conflict, or potential conflict). Once we process these events, I have learned that it is possible (even preferable) to spend some time visualizing the past event - but rewrite it in a way that incorporates what you learned from the experience. This turns the event into something that will be far less likely to aggravate you in the future. It also reframes the experience into something that will serve you better (and more easily) in the future.
I’m not suggesting that we should try to drastically revise our history, but I suppose such a thing might be possible with enough work. What I do suggest is tidying up our past experiences a bit, so that they can serve us more effectively as we move forward.
This is no different than using visualization techniques in preparation for future events. Have a big game coming up? Mentally rehearsing how you want the game to go, how you will handle adversity when it arises - these types of visualizations are proven to improve performance.
I’m not an expert, but I have come to learn the distinction between our minds and our nervous systems. Our minds can know something to be true, but if our nervous systems aren’t settled on that truth, we can still be very uncomfortable behaving in line with it. So, when we apply this type of visualization to past events, it puts our nervous system in better order, making it more comfortable to act in alignment with this “settled truth” in the future.
Achieving alignment between our minds and our larger nervous systems allows us to be our best selves. Misalignment of these things creates compression, and sometimes this hinders our ability to perform.
Think of your mind as a whiteboard. If a memory of a past event is messy, erase it and replace it with a tidier version. And use the whiteboard to prepare for upcoming life events, increasing the likelihood that they will play out in accordance with your vision.
I know it sounds a little woo-woo, but keeping our minds and larger nervous systems in sync makes for better living.
Sunday Supper
Sheet-pan Chicken with Apple, Fennel and Onion
Crisp Gnocchi w/ Brussels Sprouts and Brown Butter
Kale and Brussels Sprouts Salad w/ Pear & Halloumi
Sunday Music
Gillian Welch & David Rawlings Live on KEXP
DJ Sophia Melody spinning Autumn music in a stream
Anat Cohen, featured Live at Emmet’s Place
Jesse Welles, Live at Austin City Limits
Enjoy!
If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them.
Have a great week ahead! You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love,
The Town Drunk
He’s persistent, but I’m getting better at not letting him affect me.
Once or twice a week, I’ll be minding my own business at the local watering hole when the town drunk saunters over and starts talking to me. “D’you believe this shit? Damn, you’re stupid if you believe that. You were never any good, but you’ve gotten worse.”
All too often I engage with him, and it never goes well. The back-and-forth drags late into the night, and neither of us walks away wiser or victorious.
Even when I know exactly how it’s going to go, sometimes I can’t stop myself. But I’m getting better. Sometimes I acknowledge him, then look the other way until he shuffles off.
OK, now go back and read that again, but replace “at the local watering hole” with “in bed” and “town drunk” with “intrusive thoughts.”
Sometimes it’s really hard to turn my brain off. I can be dog-tired when I hit the hay, but something clicks and I ruminate deep into the night. It goes so deep that I stop stewing on the original topic and start stewing on the sleep deficit I’ll carry into tomorrow.
I think it runs in my family. My dad never complained of sleep issues, but he was good at stewing on things. It wouldn’t surprise me if he stewed at night like I sometimes do.
What helps me:
Exercise. Physical exhaustion helps me shut down at the end of the day.
Last Hour Ritual. No screens. A book, maybe some music, sometimes a shower. A consistent shutdown routine primes my system for sleep.
Meditation. I observe thoughts, then release them without engaging. It’s great practice for ignoring the town drunk.
The Town Drunk may keep rambling at me, but I choose to ignore him.
Sunday Supper
Rosemary Garlic Pork Tenderloin & Sweet Potatoes
Bacon-Jalapeño Stovetop Mac & Cheese
Chicken Thighs with Creamy Mustard Sauce
Sunday Music
Live Covers of A Tribe Called Called Quest
Gustavo Dudamel & Herbie Hancock Celebrate Gershwin
The War On Drugs on Austin City Limits
Tim Bernardes at the NPR Tiny Desk
Enjoy!
If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them.
Have a great week ahead! You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love,
Fall Fun
The leaves are dropping and a lot is going on.
Last weekend I was in Greenville, South Carolina to celebrate the recent retirement of a good friend. He and his wife have built a second home down there and will now float back and forth between here and there. It was great to press pause for a few days and hang out with friends. My back held up well while playing golf — an encouraging sign for the future. Seeing the home my friend has built, and getting a sense of what his life will look like in this new phase was really cool. It’s quite an accomplishment: Work hard, save, plan…and then the day finally arrives. My vision of retirement looks different than his, but his version is beautiful.
Today will be my first real day of fall leaf collection. This will likely continue until Thanksgiving. A weekly ritual of tidying up the yard (and more importantly, the gutters) as the trees shed their canopies. This will take an increasing amount of time each week, until it finally peters out and we enter the holidays.
I’ve already started thinking through the Thanksgiving menu. It will just be the nuclear family gathering this year, so I’ll roast a turkey breast. I'll brine it using Thomas Keller's recipe, roast the breast, then roast the rest of the bird and pick the meat for a pot pie. The bones will go into stock for soup and gravy. I’m using Thanksgiving prep as an excuse to indulge my sweet tooth — I need to try out a range of dessert recipes to ensure that I land on just the right one for the family meal. We always keep the Thanksgiving menu traditional, but the recipes often change from year to year (unlike New Year’s Day menu, which is carved in stone, never to be altered).
I had the pleasure of dining at The Seasoned Farmhouse, in Clintonville, last night with a couple dozen good friends. They offer cooking classes and private dinners. The meal was absolutely wonderful - I highly recommend this operation to anyone with a whiff of interest.
It’s a little hard to believe it is October 4th. This year feels like it has played out especially fast, which is a good sign for the most part. It’s been a year of high focus and engagement, with each week planned and executed pretty darn well. I’ve accomplished a lot, and had a lot of fun. There’s lots to be thankful for this fall.
Sunday Supper
I made this Chicken and Pesto Rice With Peas this week. It would have been a fantastic One Dish Wonder at Maamos Kitchen, back in the day.
Kofta and Potatoes Baked in Tahini Sauce
Creamy Lentil Sun-dried Tomato Soup
Thanksgiving Dessert Recipes (for testing)
Sunday Music
Larkin Poe at Nashville’s Sound Emporium
Natalie Merchant Live Acoustic Session
Melissa Aldana w/ Gonzalo Rubalcaba at the NPR Tiny Desk
Enjoy!
If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them.
Have a great week ahead! You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love,
No More Jordan Rules
Sitting on the political sidelines is much less of an option these days.
A number of events in the media this week stand in stark contrast to an earlier era of my life.
The first involved the musician Ed Sheeran, whose Loop Tour faced major disruption this week. The rapper Macklemore was originally scheduled to be a supporting act on this tour, but his views on the Israel/Palestine conflict drew scrutiny. The owners of some of the venues scheduled to host the tour insisted that Macklemore be dropped from the lineup. Ultimately Macklemore was dropped, and many other artists left the tour in support of him and in resistance to the chilling effect on free speech that was created. The tour is still on, but Ed has egg on his face for trying to remain apolitical.
Then I learned that NHL star Alex Ovechkin appeared in a campaign video for Vladmir Putin’s United Russia Party that aired in Russia earlier this month. When questioned about this during the Capitals’ recent media day, Ovechkin said “I’d say I’m Russian, and I support my country,” and denied that the ad was pro-war, stating “I want peace and love for everybody. It doesn’t matter who you are, American, Russian or Ukrainian.” He went on to say that it was his intention to live in Russia with his family once his NHL career concludes.
These examples are notably different from the 1980s, when Michael Jordan was at the peak of his fame. During that time, many people tried to draw Jordan into supporting political issues and candidates, and he consistently refused. The quote attributed to him about this was “Republicans buy sneakers too.”
I’m sure that Ed Sheeran never thought that politics would intrude so significantly into his pursuit of art and performance. I’m equally certain that, no matter what his personal views might be, if Alex Ovechkin expects to live in Russia in the future, he is obligated to support Putin now. The Jordan Rule, where high-profile figures can sit neutrally on the sidelines so as to maximize the audience for their products and services, seems to no longer apply.
Why is this? I think it is because the leaders of societies around the globe are acting well outside of the norms we have come to expect over these past two or three decades. (Perhaps also outside the boundaries of international law.) Russia, Israel and the United States have all decided that kinetic warfare is warranted, and have been pursuing it with vigor. In the case of the U.S., militaristic violence has emerged within its own borders, with ICE agents assaulting and killing U.S. citizens under the Trump administration.
When our elected leaders handle their roles responsibly and with consistency, it is easy for us to take that consistency for granted. The road has gotten bumpy these last few years, so now we all (not just the high-profile among us) need to pay attention, assess their performance and vote accordingly. (Voting is an option that still matters here in America, if not elsewhere.)
The cherry on top of this week’s theme landed when I listened to Amy Poehler’s interview of Robert De Niro on her podcast Good Hang. In it, she thanks De Niro for his willingness to be vocal in his criticism of Donald Trump. This brings him to tears. Older cultural giants like De Niro and Bruce Springsteen stepping forward and calling out the craziness that is so obvious to most of us is noteworthy, and worth appreciating.
We live in interesting times - so interesting that it is becoming harder and harder to pretend they are normal.
Sunday Supper
I made these Marry Me Meatballs yesterday, and they are very good.
Crispy Chicken Thighs w/ Cucumber Yogurt
Sheet Pan Sausages and Brussels Sprouts w/ Honey Mustard
Bang Bang Salmon Bowls w/ Pineapple Slaw
Peanut Butter Banana Breakfast Bars
Sunday Music
Billy Strings on Austin City Limits
The Heartbreakers Reunion Concert (featuring Chris Stapleton)
Miroslav Tadić & Yvette Holzwarth – Live Guitar & Violin Concert
Madison Cunningham Live at Tumbleroot
Chris Thile and Punch Brothers with Sara Bareilles, Meshell Ndegeocello
Enjoy!
If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them.
Have a great week ahead! You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love,
Winning Streak
I got to see Charlie Rocket speak this week, and it was the start of a winning streak.
The short post-Labor Day week really went fast. Lori and I spent the holiday weekend hanging out with our younger son in Madison, Wisconsin - our first visit since moving him into his apartment in April. This time we got to really enjoy ourselves.
Friday night we picked up takeout from Haven, and found the perfect table at the Terrace at Memorial Union on the University of Wisconsin’s campus, right on Lake Mendota. Live jazz was playing, and the most amazing cloud formations floated across the lake. After dark, the heat and humidity generated lightning far off in the distance.
Saturday morning started with bagels from Gotham Bagels, and then a lap around the amazing Madison Farmer’s Market - easily 10x the vendors that we have here in Granville. We enjoyed lunch at Little Tibet, where the beef momo (handmade beef dumplings) were fantastic. After lunch, we toured the Epic campus, which was amazing. Then we hit the grocery store, where I bought three cases of Spotted Cow beer (a friend had mentioned his love of it, and it is only produced and sold in Wisconsin - so we stocked up to bring plenty home).
Sunday we made yummy Thai-inspired crepes at our son’s apartment, followed by a leisurely walk to a different part of Madison, where there were a number of excellent bakeries and shops.
Shoddy sleep had us up early Monday morning, so we hit the road for home and were lucky to arrive at 1pm. This allowed me ample time to clean up a very large tree branch that fell down while we were away. (It does seem like this has happened the last few times we’ve gone away…the trees are trying to tell us something.). Eight hours of driving, plus four hours of tree cleanup…now that is what I call Labor Day.
Thursday night I had the privilege of seeing a young man named Charlie Rocket speak to the EO Columbus membership. As a young man in Atlanta, Charlie became a manager to many successful Atlanta-based rappers before encountering some health difficulties that prompted him to do a full reset of his life. Weighing more than 300 lbs, he committed himself to exercise, and documented his journey. This culminated in him self-producing this homage to Nike advertising, which actually caught Nike’s attention, and it produced this ad featuring Charlie along with many other world-famous athletes. Charlie’s story of reinvention was powerful, and aligned with many of the emotions I’ve felt in this new chapter as an EOS Implementer.
He spoke of creating “winning streaks,” simply noticing the good things happening around us, no matter how small - and using them to build positive momentum. He reminded us that Kobe Bryant, working with his performance coach, developed a new self-identity that he referred to as “Black Mamba” which rejuvenated his basketball career. He spoke of “delusional optimism.”
Charlie’s talk reminded me how easy it is for people to be their own most significant limiting factor. Despite plenty of evidence to the contrary, he embraced these concepts and rebuilt his life. Whether one is doing a complete reinvention, or simply managing a smaller amount of change in their life, these ideas are powerfully helpful.
Look for reasons to see that you are on your own winning streak this week. And know that I’ll be doing the same.
Sunday Supper
Harissa Shrimp w/ Greens and Feta
Za’atar Turkey Meatballs w/ Tahini Yogurt
Miso-Maple Sheet-pan Chicken w/ Brussels Sprouts
Sunday Music
Tori Kelly at the NPR Tiny Desk
Happy Organ Hour at the Maple Leaf Bar
Hiromi Uehara Live in Marciac, 2010
Enjoy!
If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. Have a great week ahead!
You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love,
Bone Spurs
When you get them, they can make you feel really uncomfortable.
Happy Labor Day weekend! Summer’s heat has reasserted itself this past week.
Update on the personal health issue I wrote about four weeks ago (Back To Back Rehab):
My back is healthier than I feared, but the issue is likely to affect me for some time. An X-ray yielded a quick and definitive diagnosis: Calcification/Arthritis is forming on the right side of three of my vertebrae. As the bone of each vertebra grows toward each other, little hooks, or “bone spurs” have formed. They look like sharp, pointy things in the X-ray. It’s not hard to imagine that when the muscles fire along the right side of my back, these pointy things dig into those muscle fibers, triggering the spasms that I’ve been experiencing. Maybe that’s what’s happening, maybe not. But that’s how I’m picturing it.
This brings both welcome and disappointing news:
The Welcome: My back is otherwise healthy, and the muscle spasms that I have been experiencing only happen when I make a golf swing. Until proven otherwise, I can continue my general exercise routine without fear of rupturing a disc or something like that. So I’m getting after it in the gym. It seems unlikely to hurt and likely to help me forestall the negative effects of arthritis as I age.
The Disappointing: It is unlikely that I will be able to effectively swing the golf club very much for the foreseeable future. I’ll keep testing this, trying to crack the code on quieting the muscles. Thus far nothing has worked.
Reason for hope: The doctor tells me that the muscle spasms may disappear once the vertebrae fuse together (this is what the calcification is building toward). So, once this weird biological process is completed, my function may return to normal.
So, we’ll see. The physical issues are pretty minor. Much more significant are the questions this experience has surfaced.
What if golf is effectively over for me?
Would I re-learn the game as a left-handed player if that meant I could play pain-free?
If life has taught me anything thus far, it is to avoid spending time, energy, or focus on things outside my control, as much as possible. If I decide that my golf era is behind me, I intend to celebrate the good times, and look forward to reclaiming the future hours I would have spent on the golf course, redeploying them into something meaningful. I'd probably test the left-handed side of the game first, to see how quickly I could develop, before giving up on golf completely..
One of many things golf has taught me is to not dwell on the prior shot that turned out poorly. Let it go, refocus fully on the next shot. Maybe the game was getting me ready to leave it altogether.
Sunday Supper
Lori and I recently enjoyed a wonderful meal at PostBoy, in New Buffalo, Michigan. If you are ever in the neighborhood, we highly recommend dropping in! Some of this week’s recipes are inspired by things we enjoyed at PostBoy.
Japanese Sweet Potatoes w/ Tahini Crème Fraîche
Bean Salad w/ Charred Jalapeño-Lime Dressing
Sunday Music
John Legend Live at North Sea Jazz Festival
Nightmares on Wax Live at Royal Albert Hall
Charles Mingus w Eric Dolphy, Belgium, 1964
Enjoy!
If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them.
Have a great week ahead! You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love,
Hazardous Waste
Sometimes we have to purge things out of our systems.
The heat of summer is losing it’s grip, and the leaves are starting to drop from the trees in our yard. After nearly drowning us, Mother Nature gave us a lovely week of moderate late-summer weather. It was a perfect send-off to the Thursday Night Golf League, both for our final round and for the Friday night barbecue we enjoyed together.
The weather for yesterday’s Farmer’s Market was also pristine - sunny, cool, blue sky…idyllic. I picked up some sweet corn from a vendor, and a packet of blue corn tortillas. The sweet corn was perfection, the tomatoes too…Lori and I ended up making chicken tacos with fresh salsa that were the platonic ideal of summer farmer’s market chicken tacos. Our ability to cook mind-blowing food at home always inspires massive gratitude.
After visiting the Farmer’s Market yesterday, I loaded up my car with a bunch of oil-based paint, stain, used motor oil, and some diesel fuel for a bulldozer we owned in a past life…all of the noxious fluids that accumulate in modern households. Licking County had a Hazardous Waste Collection Day yesterday - a free service that allowed us to get this monkey off of our back. It was quick and easy to queue up, a large staff of people descended on my car taking away all of the containers so quickly. Thirty years of poisonous build-up, wiped away in a matter of minutes. What a relief I felt when all of the containers were removed. A centralized solution to a widely-held community problem, responsibly disposing of hazardous waste…did I just fall for communism?
The experience prompted me to reflect on the many other things in life that accumulate and should be purged from time-to-time. In general, “stuff” is always accumulating. The comedian George Carlin famously said that our houses are just “a pile of stuff with a cover on it.” Having purged my parents’ house of their stuff, Lori and I are committed to minimizing our belongings as much as possible, so the boys don’t have as much to deal with.
In the 1990s, British anthropologist Robin Dunbar proposed the concept that we can only support a certain number of relationships with other people. He created a graphical model of nested circles, indicating different levels of intimacy and the number of relationships that can be sustained at each level. He suggested the following:
1 to 5 people as being the closest, most intimate friends (best friends)
15: Sympathy group and good friends to whom you can turn for support
50: Casual friends and dinner party guests
150: Meaningful relationships and people you actually know.
500 - 1,500: Acquaintances and faces you can recognize or name
I suspect that some of us can accommodate more (and some less) than these figures - but the notion that there is a finite number of relationships we can support means that once we are maxed out, it becomes necessary to occasionally perform “relationship hygiene.” At this stage of life, I have experienced this as both the pruner and the prunee, and have come to accept it as a natural occurrence without taking it too personally.
At the microscopic level, even our cells have to take out the trash sometimes. Through a process called autophagy, our cells break down and reuse damaged cell parts.
Purging what doesn’t serve you is a natural part of life. The occasional review and intentional de-cluttering is perfectly appropriate.
Sunday Supper
Chicken Tacos w/ Corn-Tomato Salsa
Gochujang Tofu, Squash and Brussels Sprouts Bowls
Chicken Shawarma Sheet Pan Dinner
Garlic Herb Roasted Cherry Tomato Carbonara
Sunday Music
Rick Beato on Dolly Parton’s Life & Music
Wynton Marsalis and John Batiste Discussing and Performing Jazz at the Aspen Ideas Festival
Austin City Limits Remembers Dolly Parton
Enjoy!
If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them.
Have a great week ahead! You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love,
Rocky Mountain Hi
A bit of a travelogue, and reflections on integrating work and adventure.
Late afternoon on Wednesday, Lori and I boarded a flight to Denver. I attended the quarterly gathering of EOS Implementers on Thursday, then she and I drove up to Boulder to explore a little bit.
I worked with focus earlier in the week, arriving at my EOS Quarterly Collaborative Exchange (QCE) with very few loose ends on the work front, and a lot of clarity about how I intend to focus my time and energy through October. No matter how much clarity I bring to these QCEs, I always leave the door open to adjusting my plans based on what I experience with my peers. They bring so much energy and experience that I often am inspired to modify my initial plans a bit. While that did not happen this time around, it was time very well-spent. Coaching leadership teams is a infinite game, and every one of my peers is actively learning, growing and sharing their experiences, which makes us all better.
I love the balance that I have in my life. Delivering great sessions requires energy, but I take good care of myself and ensure that energy is available to me as needed. I’ve also developed a deeper appreciation for recovery time. Taking time off is NOT lazy, it is essential.
Upon arriving in Boulder, we were hungry - so Lori found Tacos El Comelon, which I think translates into “Tacos for Big Eaters.” Friend, let me tell you - these tacos were transcendental. Equal to or better than the tacos we enjoyed at Las Tacos Por Favor in Nashville many years ago. So, so good…I hope that their business thrives. The quality is there, but I know too well that good food is only part of the equation for a successful food business.
We spent Friday hiking with friends (former residents of Granville), then dining our with them after a siesta. Dinner was at Bramble & Hare - a real-deal local farm-to-table fine dining establishment that really knocked it out of the park Friday night. Just a fantastic day of moving, then nourishing our bodies and catching up with friends.
Saturday morning I snuck back over to my friends house to make sausage gravy and biscuits for breakfast - something I did multiple times for the kids when they lived in Granville. As always, I used the Fox In The Snow recipe for buttermilk biscuits, and made the gravy by channeling my inner Ma Bell. So good. After breakfast, Lori and I explored downtown Boulder, which is just lovely. We could see living here some day, possibly. We kept things simple, Saturday night (I worked on this post, both before and after visiting a a local food hall for dinner).
We return home Sunday afternoon, just in time to have dinner with our firstborn and gear up for the week ahead. It was fun spending some time in Boulder. It was not purely a vacation, but a really nice integration of adventure and work. They’re both important, and I continue to love how I am managing my time, energy and focus.
Sunday Supper
Roasted Salmon & Broccoli Bowl
Ultra-Crispy Slow-Roasted Pork Shoulder
Sunday Music
Weird Al Yankovic at the NPR Tiny Desk
Rickie Lee Jones at the Montreux Jazz Festival 1982
Silvana Estrada Live from KCRW
Poncho Sanchez Latin Jazz Band
Oscar Peterson, Count Basie and Joe Pass 1980
Enjoy!
If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them.
Have a great week ahead! You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love,
Make It Rain
Sometimes you have to go potty outside at midnight in a monsoon.
We went to dinner at our friends’ house last night, so our dog Rosie’s routine got disrupted. I took her outside immediately after returning home (about 9:30), but she was too excited to do her business. I took her out again at 10:00, and she peed. But she really needed to do more, so at 11:40 she was whining at the foot of the bed as the rain poured outside. By the time I got dressed, went downstairs, put on the poncho, the headlamp and my sandals, leashed her up and opened the door to the monsoon, she had decided that this was not the time for a potty break. So I stripped off my gear, stomped upstairs in a huff and told Lori that she was on dog duty for the rest of the evening. And I sat down to write this essay.
The kernel of what I want to write about is something I saw online this week - a post from a Norwegian named Trond Solberg (@trond_solber71 on Threads). As near as I can tell, this account seems to originate from a real person (not a bot). Here is what he posted:
“Hi Norwegian here.
A hard thing to explain about social democracy is that we WANT our taxes to go to the “undeserving.”
Not because we’re naive.
Because it works.
Healthy people cost less.
Educated people contribute more.
Housed people are more stable.
The “undeserving” are actually pretty good investments.
But the main point is that in a healthy society there are no “undeserving.” They are just people.
Dignity is not a privilege.”
Even if this post was generated by a propaganda bot, these are statements that I buy.
More often than not, I believe what some might call “handouts” to people in need are the most long-term economically effective response. In environments where food security and shelter are available, people behave differently. Add in access to reasonable medical care and quality education, and we get closer to making society a game that can be “won” (i.e. more people leading fulfilling, productive lives) regardless of anyone’s particular starting position on the game board.
Too many in America are trying to consolidate power, rigging the game such that social mobility would be far more difficult.
We can have a more supportive, fair society. I know this because it exists elsewhere in the world, right now. I have visited some of these places. I also know it because America used to be more supportive and fair than we are today.
Anyway, the midterm elections are a few weeks away. It will be interesting to see how voters choose between fear and possibility.
Sunday Supper
Chicken Casserole w/ Mushrooms & Spinach
Sunday Music
Audrey Hobert at the NPR Tiny Desk
Carole King’s Tapestry, Live in Hyde Park
Airelle Besson & Lionel Suarez, live in France
Sienna Spiro live at Outside Lands 2026
Tom Waits Performing in 2011 when he was inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame
Enjoy!
If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them.
Have a great week ahead! You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love,
Back To Back Rehab
Improving dynamic systems when they malfunction.
What seemed like a minor physical issue that would work itself out I now realize is going to require more systemic change if I am to consistently enjoy playing pain-free golf. So I am returning to “rehab mode” for the first time since I herniated my L5/S1 disc in the Fall of 2009.
Most of my golf this season has involved some sort of back discomfort - so much so that I have lost trust in my body. This has resulted in me moderating my normal exercise routine out of a sense of feeling fragile. The current working theory is that my back muscles have been overcompensating for weakness/immobility in my hip, glute, hamstring and psoas muscles. So the pain is manifesting in my lower back, but like any good EOS Implementer, I know that the back issue is more a symptom than the root cause of the pain.
It dawned on me this week that this is a classic case of “Hitting The Ceiling.” In EOS sessions, I regularly teach leadership teams about this concept. Every business hits performance plateaus from time to time. Growth sometimes exposes a new limiting factor. Other times the world changes, and the old way of doing things no longer works. Both businesses and human bodies are complex systems, and it’s critical to understand when a system has hit the ceiling.
In the organizational context, there are five fundamental leadership abilities that can help us to break through the ceiling. The first is to simplify. In business, processes accumulate and overlap, new people join the team - these things add complexity to the business. Occasionally you need to look at it all with fresh eyes and simplify what’s being done. In the case of my back, the simplest thing to do is to stop playing golf for a while, and devote daily time to performing a range of movements that should help make my body more functional.
The second leadership ability is to delegate. Sometimes as leaders we let too many tasks and responsibilities accumulate on our desks. Doling some out to others is a great way to free up our bandwidth. This allows us to deploy our unique abilities to their highest and best use - and gives our teammates more opportunities to learn and grow. With my malfunctioning body, delegation looks more like consultation. Clearly my own personal knowledge base has been lacking here - so I’m tapping into the knowledge of a trusted friend who owns a gym, and my chiropractor to help me draft some new movement rituals and properly implement them.
The third leadership ability is to predict. In business, the better we are at predicting revenue, or detecting a customer issue, the more proactive we can be to get out ahead of problems (or pounce on opportunities). With my body, I used to have near-certainty that if I performed my training ritual a certain number of times each week, my body would be able to do anything that I asked of it. Since this prediction has become far less reliable, it’s time to update the rituals to meet the moment.
The fourth leadership ability is to systemize. In business, you create systems and processes that your team honors as they produce products or services. This creates consistent outcomes, manages costs, ensures timely delivery, increases customer satisfaction, etc. As it relates to this latest physical challenge, once I determine the new mobility rituals that return me to full function, I will have to systematically honor them - setting time aside on my calendar and doing them consistently.
The fifth and final leadership ability is to refine structure. In the business context, this means to regularly review your Accountability Chart, to ensure that it still reflects your current reality - and to look for ways it could be revised to enhance how your team does its work. Currently my “back recovery team” is made up of three people: me, my trainer and my chiropractor. Hopefully I don’t need to get more people involved. My ultimate goal is to be robust and pain-free without anyone else explicitly involved in problem-solving mode.
This challenge has prompted me to set a personal goal: I want to play two rounds of golf in one day next year, walking both rounds. Distance-wise, this is akin to running a half marathon. I am optimistic that this is within reach.
Sunday Supper
Kale Salad w/ Apples & Cheddar
Cucumber Salad w/ Lime Peanut Dressing
Grilled Branzini w/ Fennel, Lemon & Shallot
Sunday Music
Charlie Puth at the NPR Tiny Desk
Japanese Rare Groove, Jazz, Funk, City Pop DJ Mix
Goose covers Bob Seger’s Hollywood Nights
Enjoy!
If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them.
Have a great week ahead! You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love,
Worlds Apart
A volunteer session this weekend highlighted for me just how different things can be for people.
Driving west on Whittier Street in Columbus yesterday, I saw some of my friends gathered on the sidewalk, so I knew I was in the right place. I turned right on Carpenter and parked in the first available space. Walking back to Whittier, I saw a beautiful female pit bull terrier and her owner sitting outside their home. I asked if I could pet her and the owner agreed, so I pet her and we chatted for a minute. Her rear right leg had recently been injured. I could tell she was sweet, but pain in the leg had her a bit out of sorts. So I kept the love sesh brief, to avoid getting nipped.
My friends were gathered at the rear of a U-Haul box truck. Not long after I arrived and said hello, we started receiving instructions on how to set up for the event. We opened the door on the back of the truck, revealing a jumbled mess of things that we began unloading and placing in the street.
Our volunteer efforts were in support of Nationwide Childrens Hospital’s Playstreets program - the hospital puts on this series of free block parties throughout the summer to encourage play time for children, build community and to connect community members in need with support services.
It was a gray day, rain clouds looming larger and darker, making attendance light. Once it became clear that showers were imminent, we rapidly broke down the tents, tables and toys, loading them back into the U-Haul as efficiently as a world-class player of Tetris. Whoever offloads this van for the next event will appreciate this, and hopefully replicate it.
Since we wrapped up earlier than expected, our group grabbed a few slices of the donated Donatos pizza and gathered inside a nearby building to learn more about the Playstreets program, and the people it serves. The high school graduation rate in the area is about 40%. Why are the kids not graduating? Family dysfunction and poverty. Poverty means food insecurity, no furniture, lack of transportation (bussing has been eliminated for high school students due to lack of budget…so Ohio’s flawed school funding schema also contributes to the lack of resources). It all makes my head spin. We are wasting so much human potential by failing to support these communities better. The Playstreets program is lovely and necessary - but insufficient at disrupting the cycle of generational poverty.
In local Licking county news, Leopard Spot Pizza opened a few weeks ago in the location that previously housed DeFelice Brothers Pizza. Readers who have been on this ride with me long enough know that the tenant prior to DeFelice Brothers was a little startup called Maamos Kitchen - a business that Lori and I founded, that opened its doors May 1st, 2016. So the location carries a little more emotional resonance. It was the writing of a weekly email newsletter for Maamos Kitchen customers that has since morphed into this weekly essay/blog habit of mine. When I closed the business, many readers of the newsletter asked me to continue publishing it. I have done so, with minimal disruption ever since.
Leopard Spot Pizza is very, very good! And for good reason: It’s founder, Nate Kaiser, worked for DeFelice Brothers for many years. And Nate’s mom, Susan Kaiser, has deep experience in the commercial food business, having run the Faire La Cuisine catering business out of this same space for more than 25 years. I held off on mentioning this new pizza business in my weekly posts out of an appreciation for how any new food operation is often still figuring things out. But I think they are ready for the onslaught of customers I’m sure this write up will drive to their door. :-). They wisely are keeping their menu more simple than some pizza operations - one example of this is that they only offer one size of pizza. But everything on their menu is first-class. This includes a new dessert item I had the privilege of trying on Friday - they call it the “Perfect Bite.” It is a small, rich, miniature chocolate cupcake, topped with whipped Snowville cream, which is then dipped in chocolate and chilled. It really is the perfect sweet finish to the palate after eating something savory. Check them out the next time you feel like eating pizza!
Sunday Supper
Ground Turkey, Shiitake, and Cashew Lettuce Cups
Sunday Music
Norah Jones w/ Meshell Ndegeocello
Buena Vista All-Stars in Toulouse, France two weeks ago
Glen Hansard (RIP), live at KCRW in 2015
Robert Glasper in Paris recently
Enjoy!
If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. Have a great week ahead!
You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love,
Summer Vibes
A confluence of work, play and perfect summer weather.
No deep thoughts this week. Just appreciation for summer, steady progress, and a great mix of work and play.
This past week was a good one - 50% client sessions, 20% golf and 30% making progress on things that are building an exciting future. A balanced week. On top of this, we hired the guys from Apex Tree Service to take down some trees on our property - and groom the canopies of many others. Having them here working while I was doing my own work felt like a productivity turbo boost.
It feels like we made some real progress this week in refreshing our home after many years of taking it for granted. I was tempted to write that we have neglected it…to some, this might be more accurate. It reliably carried us through the crucibles of raising our children and caring for our parents. Now it is time to give it some TLC so that we can enjoy another 20-year run without too much maintenance or avoidable surprises.
The weather really made it a perfect summer week. The golf on Thursday was glorious. The Symphony of Flavor fundraising dinner and auction, benefitting the Newark-Granville Symphony Orchestra was superb.
I’ll be prepping the Salad Niçoise and Chopped Italian Sandwich today to enjoy in the days ahead. Some rain on Monday and Tuesday, then we return to the not-too-hot weather we’ve been enjoying during this great stretch of summer weather.
Sunday Supper
Stir-Fried Cumin Green Beans & Chicken
Sunday Music
The Roots at the North Sea Jazz Festival
Carlinhos Brown e Orquestra Ouro Preto: Afrossinfonicidade (Ao Vivo)
Nana Fofie - Podium ZWART Concert
Enjoy!
If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them.
Have a great week ahead! You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love,
Quite A Spot Of Bother
It’s deja vu all over again.
I find myself thinking about the speech President Trump delivered this past Thursday. Everything he said was insane kakapoopoo - so much so that it is does not warrant a point-by-point analysis. It was similar in scope and grandeur to what Rudy Giuliani said to America from the parking lot of Four Seasons Total Landscaping on November 7th, 2020. That whackadoodle press conference set off a chain of events that led to the storming of the Capitol building on January 6th, 2021. The President’s speech Thursday night indicates that we are likely on a similar path.
It is evident that the administration knows that the midterm elections will not be kind to it, and it seems willing to do things no administration has ever done in order to disrupt this outcome. In their view, elections that elect Republicans are legitimate. When Democrats win, this is a clear sign of illegal manipulation of the process.
America did not vote for inflation, but we have it. America did not vote for war, but we have it. America did not vote for goon squads killing American citizens and legal residents in the streets, but we have this as well - all as a result of the current leadership in the Oval Office. Lots and lots of people who voted for Donald Trump in 2024 will not be supporting him at the polls this year.
The DOJ has lost sixteen cases in a row related to its attempts to get its hands on state voter rolls. Every specious case alleging voter fraud related to the 2020 election was tossed out of court due to lack of anything resembling credible evidence.
It seems likely that we will see federal troops at polling places in “blue states” (i.e. states where polling suggests the votes will not go Donald’s way) this Fall. These actions will be challenged in court. But as Jonathan Swift wrote in 1710: “Falsehood flies, and the truth comes limping after it.” Today, the Executive Branch acts with rapid impunity, knowing that the legal system’s response will be far slower. Given how the ICE goons have been murdering people, we very well may see people lose their lives at polling places this November. I sure hope not, but this ocean liner seems to be on a collision course, and there is not much time or opportunity to divert it.
Viktor Orbán tried this in Hungary, and he lost. The same will be true for Donald Trump. Thursday night he tried to set the predicate for taking unprecedented actions, but very few are buying it. I don’t expect this to stop him from continuing down this obvious, illegal path.
Sunday Supper
Chili Crisp Tofu, Tomatoes and Cucumbers
Linguini with Zucchini, Corn and Shrimp
Whipped Feta Dip w/ Brown Butter, Dates and Pine Nuts
Thai-Inspired Peach and Lentil Salad w/ Lemongrass Dressing
Sunday Music
Stubbs Quartet at Kulaks Woodshed
God Is An Astronaut at Hellfest Open Air 2026
Sonah Jobarteh & Band, West Africa 2022
John Hiatt & The Guilty Dogs, Austin City Limits 1994
Night Swimming Live at Bam Bam Studios
Enjoy!
If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them.
Have a great week ahead! You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love,
Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger
Vegetable prep as meditation.
It was a fun and adventurous week. An engaging week - preceded by a very engaging week leading into the July 4th holiday. I arrived at this weekend feeling drained of energy. So I downshifted, and reflected.
My reflections yielded a valuable insight: The pace at which I’ve been running is a bit too much. Thankfully, the week ahead has some white space. This will allow me to regroup and recharge a bit. As I architect my calendar for the weeks ahead, it needs to reflect this new understanding.
Admittedly, I’m trying to hit a moving target. Life ebbs and flows. Sometimes I want to let it rip. Sometimes I need to dial it back. It’s nice to imagine a “template week” that is infinitely repeatable. Rinse and repeat in perpetuity and live the ideal life - a life where I optimize each day for everything that matters…I don’t think life works this way.
Sure, there are some stretches that feel idyllic - but life is too dynamic for them to last very long. I embrace this. I’m not complaining. I’m simply recognizing that my current routines need to change. And they will. So….good!
We have friends coming over for Sunday Supper tonight, and I’m really looking forward to it. Lori and I were able to do some preparation for this gathering on Saturday, so it should not be a heavy lift on Sunday to get everything done. I’m grilling cheeseburgers. Our guests will be able to choose between a classic preparation (Toasted bun, sliced tomato, shredded lettuce, diced onion, pickles, Gott’s hamburger sauce or other condiments) or something I dreamed up on Memorial Day. I call it the Bababouli Burger, and it leans into Lebanese cuisine: toasted bun, cheeseburger patties topped with baba ganoush and tabouleh. Thick and garlicky smoked eggplant puree, herbaceous parsley and mint salad, bathed in lemon juice and olive oil, with some diced tomato tossed in with it (FYI - I substitute some cooked quinoa for the bulgur wheat to make this salad friendly for my gluten-free gal). This weekend is the first chance I’ve had to make it since imagining it while at Sleepy Creek. Will report back on whether it meets my expectations. The classic is The Classic. But I’ve got to experiment with other ideas sometimes.
Making tabouleh is labor-intensive. Plucking the little parsley leaves from the stems is detail-oriented. I often don’t have the patience for it. But on Saturday, it was the perfect way to meditate on my busy life of late. It needs to be chopped finely, along with the mint (We purchased it at the Granville Farmer’s Market. It smelled so good when I chopped it up.). This all takes time, and taking some time is exactly what I needed.
So that’s it. I’ve been going a little too fast, looking forward to slowing down. I started the deceleration by plucking the leaves off of six or seven bunches of parsley last night. The End.
Sunday Supper
Mango-Avocado Salad with Lime Vinaigrette
Grilled Marinated Swordfish Steaks
Cucumber Salad with Salsa Macha
Sunday Music
RAYE and Guests Live at the Montreal Jazz Festival
Courtney Barnett - Live from the Royal Exhibition Building
Miles Davis Septet - Berlin, 1971
Gilberto Gil, Tiny Desk Brasil
Punch Brothers, Mayo Performing Arts Center
Enjoy!
If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them.
Have a great week ahead! You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love!
Self-Evident Truths
America is not a promise, but a hope that requires our earnest effort.
As America celebrates the 250th anniversary of it’s formation, I find myself pondering the language of our Declaration of Independence. Particularly this sentence: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
The concept of universal equality and notion that everyone is entitled to live freely while pursuing happiness seems straightforward at first glance. But these “self-evident” truths have never been embraced fully by American society.
EQUALITY
“All men are created equal.” OK, let’s pause right there. It surfaces a couple of issues. First, many of our Founders were slaveholders at the time of America’s founding. Obviously slaves weren’t considered equal. This notion that black- and brown-skinned people are somehow less than their white counterparts is absolute horseshit. We ended up fighting and winning a war amongst ourselves over this very issue. Despite this victory over the racist rebellion, I can drive around Central Ohio today and still see Confederate flags on vehicles and flying proudly on peoples’ properties in mere minutes. The white nationalist group Patriot Front marched in Washington DC just yesterday. The second issue relates to gender - the notion that “all men” are of equal standing, with no reference to women is a glaring omission. Since our nation’s founding, there have been numerous court battles and legislation securing women’s rights - the right to bodily integrity, the right to work for equal wages, the right to enter into contracts, reproductive rights, property rights. Over the last 250 years women have had to win each of these in the face of stiff opposition.
LIFE
Our Federal, State and Local governments are empowered to use lethal force to enforce our laws and preserve the rights of its citizens to live their lives. Earlier this year, ICE agents used kinetic force in Minneapolis, depriving Renee Nicole Good and Alex Pretti of their lives in two separate incidents. Throughout its history, America has wrestled with both the idea that fetuses should have the right to be born, and that violent criminals should be executed. This unalienable right to Life and who is entitled to it is still being hotly debated.
LIBERTY
The idea that we should be free to go about our business, move about society as we see fit has recently been impinged. People who look a certain way (see above, EQUALITY) have been regularly asked to provide evidence of their citizenship in the United States. Freedom of speech seems to fit into the Liberty bucket, but those who say things that our current President dislikes run the risk of being fired, harassed, stochastically terrorized, and the companies for whom they work receive extra regulatory scrutiny. So, this self-evident right to liberty seems under attack.
PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS
Americans are all free to pursue happiness - so long as they don’t want to have same-sex life partners, live under different gender norms, or opt out of parenthood by terminating an unwanted or medically risky pregnancy. You can pursue happiness, but don’t be too weird about it, OK?
Seth Godin said in his Saturday email “Freedom is responsibility with a sexier name” and I think this is right. America’s Founders were highly thoughtful and intelligent. They set a higher ideal for society than had ever existed up until that point - a higher ideal than we have yet to realize.
We are still so far from the ideals set forth in our Declaration of Independence. Acknowledging this is patriotic. We have work to do. Bad ideas always have a chance of prevailing, and we cannot let that happen.
Ken White’s essay says much of this better than I can. Happy Independence Day!
Sunday Supper
Chicken Kebabs w/ Turmeric and Chile
Smoky Shrimp w/ Chorizo-Tomato Sauce
Sunday Music
Caroline Polachek at the NPR Tiny Desk
Ana Vidovic playing classical guitar in Aachen
Kurt Vile interviewed and performs on World Cafe
Jazzy Jane playing Antonio Carlos Jobim on a Rhodes organ
Courtney Barnett at Levon Helm Studios
Enjoy!
If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them.
Have a great week ahead! You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love!
More Or Less
Scorecards are helpful, even if you’re bad at keeping score.
At the midway mark of the year, I have to say that things are going pretty well in my world. I met with my EO Forum in Cleveland, where each of us presented a mid-year update to the group, learned a fair bit about how AI can make our lives a bit easier, and declared our intentions for the second half of the year.
I was pleased to report that I am on-track with my business goals. Not ahead, not behind - simply on-track. I will have to maintain the focus and energy I have devoted to them so far this year in order to actually deliver on the goals that I set in Naples this past January.
I’ve been able to do this without killing myself. My sleep quantity and quality is up, my exercise has held steady, life on the home front is great and my golf game is pretty solid. It continues to feel as if the universe is unfolding on my behalf. Maybe not specifically for me, but in ways that I recognize as favorable to my mission. For the first time in a long time, it feels like I swim with the current, rather than against it.
This has all been happening because of the clarity I have achieved thanks to reflection. AND, to tracking the leading behaviors that will contribute to achievement of my goals. In Cleveland, I lamented that I have not done a great job of capturing all of this activity in a spreadsheet, or the CRM software that I use - yet the outcomes have been happening with steady consistency. So I’m doing the right things, in the right quantities to get the job done. I’m just not measuring this activity as well as I would like. I do intend to get better at capturing this information, but the last few months are evidence that one needn’t be perfect at this, and the sheer act of setting goals helps focus our efforts.
I have to point out some culinary highlights from Cleveland this week. The first is the Velvet Tango Room, a world-class cocktail bar in Ohio City. A refined, proper space with its own culture that is consistently enforced by the staff (don’t show up wearing tattered jeans, or t-shirt if you want enjoy these libations). This place fits perfectly into the “lower quantity/higher quality” framework I have been honoring with regard to alcohol consumption. There are two pages in their menu dedicated just to cocktails of their own design. That is where I focused, and will continue to focus in future visits. Our lunch on Tuesday was purchased from Mabel’s BBQ, Michael Symon’s. I purposely over-ordered, so as to provide late-night snacks and future lunch options to my crew. When all was said and done, we crushed it all. (I love Ray Ray’s, but this barbecue really impressed me as being the best in Ohio.) Tuesday night we ordered pizza from Good Pizza. A relatively new operation, but this crew is taking the pizza game very seriously. Well worth a visit. Lastly, the crown jewel dining experience of the week was at Cordelia. Chef Vinnie Cimino recently had a near-miss at winning a James Beard award, and I have to think it’s just a matter of when, not if, the industry accolades start piling up. It’s a Midwestern farm-to-table fine dining establishment that (at least currently) is influenced by Middle Eastern and Asian spices. Our party size of seven meant that we could order basically the entire menu, and each of us could enjoy a small taste of everything. The whole party was wowed by the execution of each dish. I will be returning to Cordelia at least once more this year, and am really looking forward to it.
Sunday Supper
Roasted Chicken & Fennel w/ Peaches
Sunday Music
Jesse Welles, Live At The Basement
I’m With Her Live at the House of Blues
Fred Hammond, Live at the NPR Tiny Desk
Relaxing Hypnotic Garden Techno Jam
Pat Metheny - America The Beautiful / The People United Will Never Be Defeated
Enjoy!
If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them.
Have a great week ahead! You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love!
Beginnings & Endings
It really helps to know the end of the story you are writing.
I listened to this conversation between author David Eggers and Music producer Rick Rubin this past week. In it Eggers said something that I had heard previously, but something about the way he expanded on the idea really made it land. He said that he almost always knows how a story he is working on will end. Knowing the starting point and ending point of the story allows Eggers to avoid writer’s block. Whenever he feels stuck in one section of the story, he’ll simply pivot to a different section. This reminded me of how I solve crossword puzzles. Writers who work in linear fashion (Opening, Scene 1, Scene 2…Fini) are much more susceptible to writer’s block. They can paint themselves into a corner, leaving themselves nowhere to go.
This makes the notion of writing a novel somehow more feasible. Not that I have the bandwidth to write much, but if writing a weekly essay has taught me anything it’s that consistent output (even if small) adds up over time. The document where drafts of my essays reside just ticked over 145,200 words as I type this…). So, if I can come up with an interesting starting point, and a definitive ending, perhaps I can quilt together a novel someday. If nothing else, the Eggers/Rubin conversation lit me up a little bit this week.
I actually think this concept of figuring out the details between a beginning and an ending apply generally to life. It is really helpful to know how you want your personal story to end in order to create a meaningful journey between here and there. You know the starting point - it’s right here, where you are at this moment. Consider some end point - not necessarily your funeral, but a time 25-30 years into the future. What would you love if it were true? Start imagining the steps that the main character (you) might take on the journey from here to there. We’re all writing this type of story, whether we recognize it or not. I hope that you write a story that lights you up.
Today is Father’s Day, and it is also Lori’s birthday. We’ve committed ourselves this weekend to putting up some fencing in the back yard for Rosie to play off-leash. I’m calling it The Thunderdome. We made great progress on this project yesterday, so should be able to get it finished today. This, plus watching the conclusion of the U.S. Open golf tournament will make for a great day.
Sunday Supper
Spicy & Creamy Cashew Chicken Salad
Sunday Music
Michael League Trio live at The Blue Note
Marlon Funaki / Beachbreak Sessions
Enjoy!
If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them.
Have a great week ahead! You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love!
Inconvenience Is The Point
It rarely is convenient to help other people.
I could see her name on my phone as it rang. I assumed that she was calling to re-confirm the timing of my visit later Saturday morning. Even though we speak almost every Friday night to plan my weekly visit, she often forgets and needs to re-confirm the details.
But yesterday she “let me off the hook.” She she wasn’t feeling well, and decided she could wait another week to run errands. So, the time I would normally spend with her was being refunded to me.
I won’t lie, I was grateful. After a busy week, lots and lots of things had been piling up in my world. But I couldn’t help but feel that she had decided that my time was too valuable to spend on her. And that is complete bullshit.
I started visiting her in 2022. After my mom passed in 2021, I guess I still needed an old lady to boss me around a little bit. Her vision is failing, so I drive her to the grocery store, the bank, etc, narrating as we go. “This is the Spring Greens mix, those are turnips…”
I used to have three “clients,” but she’s the only one left. My silent commitment to each of them has been to visit once per week until they no longer need my assistance. The other two clients have passed on, leaving just her now.
Volunteer work is a little tricky. Every client’s situation is different, but for one reason or another there is often a scarcity of companionship. So, yes, we run errands - but it’s a social visit as much as anything. I try not to overshare information about my life. Instead, I chat her up and talk about the news of the day. We often listen to the Saturday talk shows on public radio.
Maybe she was feeling under the weather. Maybe she decided that my time was better spent doing other things in my always-busy life. I hope it wasn’t the later, because I will always have other things I could/should be doing. But Saturday is when I set aside aside time for visiting her.
Having a standing appointment to help one fellow human on Saturdays is something I would recommend to anyone. This simple gesture means an awful lot to those on the receiving end of it. It doesn’t scale. It is often inconvenient. But smalls acts, consistently delivered, add up.
I used to look for ways to create high-leverage impact when it came to community service. “How can I be a catalyst for systemic change?” That was the gist of it. And of course I did nothing, because I never conjured the silver-bullet solution.
When this client “graduates” to whatever is next, I may take a break from volunteering. But for now, I look forward to maintaining the ritual for as long as she needs me. It’ll never be convenient, but that’s pretty much the point.
Sunday Supper
Coconut-Gochujang Glazed Chicken w/ Broccoli
Sunday Music
Bill Frisell at the World Cafe
Stanley Clarke & Stewart Copeland
Norah Jones Interviews and Performs w/ Arooj Aftab
Enjoy!
If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them.
Have a great week ahead! You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love,
Productive Discomfort
The more you experience discomfort, the more comfortable you will feel in an ever wider set of circumstances.
Moving when you would prefer to rest.
Having the tough conversation when you’d rather avoid it.
Addressing the home maintenance issue that has been lingering.
Prepping the vegetables when microwaving a frozen meal is faster.
Honoring your calendar when you’d rather have a day off.
Going to bed when you’d rather stay up and watch a movie.
Walking the golf course when everyone else is taking a cart.
Walking the dog while wearing a weighted vest.
Drinking sparkling water when everyone else is drinking alcohol.
Growth is stimulated by discomfort. The people who grow the most find ways to spend more time in this zone of productive discomfort. We don’t have to always choose “extra,” but the more we do, the more we build our capacity, and the more we realize of our potential.
Sunday Supper
Baked Coconut Red Lentils & Greens
Sunday Music
Death Cab For Cutie Live on World Cafè
Snarky Puppy & Metropole Orkest Live
Enjoy!
If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them.
Have a great week ahead! You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love,