LIttle Totems

An effective estate planning tip: Line up the people who are going to serve as your financial and health care powers of attorney well in advance - so far in advance that their service is merely theoretical. So far into the future that they have no idea what they’re signing up for.

Myra was smart this way, roping me onto her team more than twenty years ago. Honoring that promise began in earnest almost a year ago. Last year she hit the cancer trifecta - coming down with a bad case of breast cancer, followed by melanoma, followed by a weird blood cancer that nearly ruined her kidneys.

She was remarkably upbeat and positive in the months that followed, very accepting that her time was coming to a close - but happy to manage these conditions and enjoy as much time as she could. Two Sundays ago she was re-admitted to The James for her final visit. The call came just before 2am Tuesday morning informing me that she had passed.

I had a meeting in Columbus on Wednesday, and swung by Westminster-Thurber to take a few pictures of her belongings, to begin the process of inviting friends and family to claim objects for remembrance, or utility. Her possessions are mercifully few. The big scale-down happened when we moved her from her independent living apartment into the skilled nursing unit. That is when we inherited her cat, Jasmine. Jasmine is a lovely 13-year old girl. I will think of Myra often as I interact with her cat in the days ahead.

She was my father’s first cousin - her father and my dad’s mom were siblings. But I always called her Aunt Myra. A lover of the arts, she took my sister and I to see the Nutcracker at Christmas time, and to many other musical and theater performances. I remember a trip to the Neil Armstrong Air & Space Museum in Wapakoneta. I also remember her taking me and the Secrest twins to see Eddie Murphy perform standup comedy at the old Veterans Memorial. As it turns out, Dwight Secrest is the funeral director overseeing her cremation.

She held a Master’s of Religious Education degree from Oberlin, and was a lover of travel and all global cultures. She would frequently bring foreign guests to family gatherings, which was always so lovely. Myra is easily one of the most positive people I’ve ever known. And she lived life to the fullest - always on the go and engaged with many different organizations. She made many positive impacts on people, and will be greatly missed.

So there I was on Wednesday afternoon, looking through her belongings. Feeling sad, feeling her absence from that space. Feeling a sense of urgency to get her stuff moved out so that someone else could move in to the room. This is the time when many people might cling to the “stuff,” hoping to stay connected to the loved one who has left it all behind. Having some experience with this urge, I was able to resist it. I took just one small item, made in Puerto Rico. It will hang from our Christmas tree as an ornament. With the exception of last year when she was hospitalized, I believe that Myra spent every single Christmas with my family. So this little totem will carry that forward.

Sunday Supper

Myra once made this Greek Lemon Chicken Soup for me and my sister. This Palestinian Sheet Pan Chicken Dinner would be right up her alley too. Why not these Crunchy Queso Wraps, while we’re at it?

Sunday Music

Any time Tom Waits releases a new performance, we all need to take a few minutes to check it out. The British band, Wet Leg, recently performed at the KEXP studio. This performance by the trio of Bela Fleck, Edmar Castaneda, and Antonio Sanchez is well worth a listen, too. Enjoy!

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Have a great week ahead!  You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.


Peace & Love,