Covered Dish

Hello, fellow human!

I hope your week has gone well.  The most fun of the week for me was dining with my younger child and attending the Margaret Glaspy show in Cleveland on Tuesday.  Magical meal, conversation and music.  On the drive to Cleveland, hints of yellow and red were expanding across the green tree canopies.  The trees in their seasonal burlesque, tempting us with exotic color changes, leaving nothing to the imagination by Thanksgiving.  Warm Fall is shifting to Cool Fall…perhaps temporary, but the cool air yesterday prompted me to make a nice pot of beef vegetable soup.  

Our friend lost her father this past Monday.  I was on standby to cook some food for her whenever doing so would be helpful.  I received the text message on Wednesday, and got to work.  The night before I enjoyed a wonderful Pasta Bolognese at Gigis on Fairmount.  It was so satisfying and comforting, that it made sense for me to make something similar for my friend and her assembled family.

One of my favorite comedians is Rob Delaney.  His early tweets from 2009 or so made me laugh out loud so many times.  It was comedic love at first tweet.  He was able to leverage his social media notoriety into acting gigs, Catastrophe being a wonderful example of his work.  In addition to his comedic sensibilities, I have felt bonded to Delaney because he too named one of his children Henry. 

Henry Delaney died in 2018 at the tender age of 2 1/2.  A brain tumor that formed on his brain stem was the cause.  Last year Rob published a book about Henry, the process of caring for him, grieving his loss and figuring out how to move on without him.  It’s title is A Heart That Works.  Rob was interviewed by NPR this past week to talk about Henry, and the book.  In the interview, Delaney mentioned that people often ask him for advice regarding what to say to people who are grieving.  His response:  “The answer is it doesn't matter what you say because no words are going to help. And that's OK.  Don't be afraid of that fact, because what is going to help is a casserole, a foot massage, that type of thing. Going into their house, forcibly removing them from it, locking them out of their own home and making them go for a walk around the block while you play with their kids and take out the trash. That's what helps. That's what love is and looks like when people go through tragedy.”  It’s an amazing interview.  You can listen to it here (have a tissue handy).

So, I made a casserole Wednesday (and a salad).  Acts of service.  Deeds rather than words.  I’m so lucky to have been in a position to help when the request came.  Words will always fall short.  So will food.  I don’t know if our taste buds even work the same when we are grieving.  It feels wrong to enjoy anything too much.  But I did put love into it, trying to make it as delicious and comforting as possible. 

If you find yourself caring for people with food, this collection of recipes from Pinch of Yum can be helpful.

Sunday Supper
Of course I have to share the lasagna recipe for this week’s Sunday Supper - here is a link to it.  FYI - I did not make the fresh pasta.  I simply substituted no-boil lasagna noodles from Barilla.  In addition to the pasta, this copycat Olive Garden salad is a great accompaniment.  Enjoy!

Sunday Music
I stumbled across a new artist this week that I am so happy to share with you.  Her name is Madison Cunningham, and her artistic range, both melodically and lyrically is really impressive.  Some of her performances remind me of Joni Mitchell, and others evoke memories of the late Jeff Buckley.  This collaboration with Lake Street Dive is what put Madison on my radar.  One year ago, she performed at NPR’s Tiny Desk, and I just couldn’t leave out this cover of the Beatle’s song In My Life.  Enjoy!

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Neal

Getting Back In The Game

Good day to you!

This past week was a bit cloudy and cool, befitting of a transition into Fall.  The leaves indeed do keep falling.  The days ahead look to be sunnier and warmer, though.

Regular readers of my weekly posts know that I’ve been exploring new paths to take with parts of my work life.  As a self-employed “solopreneur,” I’ve been brainstorming and researching a lot of different ways to leverage my strengths and create value.  A conversation with Lori recently crystalized for me the crux of the challenge:  More than anything, failure avoidance has been driving my thinking.  Until this week, this truth has been bubbling below my conscious awareness.  I had listed a number of ideas that have been in my “parking lot” for consideration.  When prompted with the question “Which one do you most want to pursue?” My internal response was “The one that I won’t fail at.”

So, I thought about failure.  What is it, really?  In one sense, any time we fall short of a stated goal we have failed.  But certainly lots of people fail their way to massive success.  As Casey Kasem was fond of saying, “Shoot for the stars, you just may land on the moon.”  I’m OK with this kind of failure.  It might be more accurate to call it incremental success - we didn’t hit our goal, but directionally we made progress.  Let’s try again.

There are two dimensions to failure that I really want to avoid.  The first is financial.  When all was said and done, the Maamos Kitchen project lost a meaningful sum of money.  I certainly do not want to repeat this.  The second has to do with status or reputation.  I care too much what other people think of me.  Intellectually, I know that for most part, very few people think of me at all.  I have high-achieving friends, amazing people who have accomplished a lot.  And in my own way, I feel capable of doing something similar.  Falling short of this high standard is disappointing.

When we were developing the Maamos Kitchen concept, we embraced a phrase introduced to us by Seth Godin:  “This might not work.”  It freed us up to make decisions, execute, and keep moving as we tried to bring our vision to life.  I’m not as willing to embrace the notion of things not working out for whatever my next endeavor turns out to be.

What does success look like?  However crass this may seem, to me success means making more money.  Money creates options.  Beyond this, success means making a difference to other people.  It may also mean the luxury of working with a team.  I’ve been working on my own for many years.  I wouldn’t say it is lonely, but I like the idea of doing something that warrants the effort and energy of more than just me.  I miss that.

If you’ve never heard of Simon Sinek’s book Start With Why, forget I ever mentioned it.  That book has been the bane of my existence for many years.  It convincingly makes the case that figuring out one’s life purpose unlocks the path forward.  This hasn’t been true for me.  The more I wrestle with “finding my WHY,” the more it distills down to: “Helping my fellow man get the most out of their brief time on Earth.”  This has manifested in many ways - by feeding people, by helping them better feed themselves, through laughter, through basic assistance.  It could manifest in many different ways beyond these.  So the notion of thinking about my “Why” has not delivered clarity in terms of determining my next steps.

These past few years I’ve been able to successfully hide from this fear of failure.  Serving as the “flexible parent” during our boys’ last few years of high school and even college, caring for my ailing mother… there have been plenty of good things for me to do for my family, and it is a blessing that I was available to do them.  But it also allowed me to kick the can down the road in terms of deciding what I wanted to do with time and energy.

Now the kids are out of the house.  Mom is gone.  And Lori is in her home office, working away while I wrestle with the question of what to do with myself.  I’m immensely grateful - I have clients I care for, and good work to do for them.  But this does not add up to full-time engagement.  I have more to give.

What is “calling” to me?  What “resonates,” or “glows more brightly?”  Of course I love food, but I’ve never found a way to make money in this realm.  I love entrepreneurship, and have a lot of experience facilitating meetings of business owners, helping them wrestle with the every day challenges.  I love dogs, and think that non-veterinary pet service businesses are likely to enjoy a tailwind for some time, given the spike in pet ownership that occurred during the pandemic.  And I love to write, and speak with others about issues and ideas.  Perhaps there is a path forward in content creation, but I’m still searching for a premise that feels like it has legs.  My brain is buzzing.

If reasonable success was certain, which of these would I most like to have manifest?  I reject the premise of this question.  I think a better question may be this: “What game would I enjoy playing, that I can afford, where I can bring my existing talents to bear while also learning and growing?  

Stay tuned, friends - and thanks for sharing in this journey.  I would love to hear stories of how you have wrestled with this type of challenge.

Sunday Supper
I decided to get my COVID and flu boosters yesterday afternoon.  In case I didn’t feel like cooking afterward, I made this wonderful Chicken & Rice soup.  It’s wonderful.  This Greek Salad is a good way to keep enjoying the abundance of in-season tomatoes, too.

Sunday Music
Men I Trust is a new group that one of my hip, in-touch-with-culture fiends put only radar.  Here is a sweet little garage session of theirs.  Also, check out Margaret Glaspy’s Get Back, off of her new album, Echo The Diamond.  Margaret is performing this coming Tuesday at Grog Shop in Cleveland Heights (an excellent excuse to go see our younger son) - come join me at the show! 

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Neal

What If Everything Goes Right?

Hello, Friend!

I hope you’ve been able to get out and enjoy some of this fantastic weather we’ve been having.  We haven’t had a stretch this nice in quite a while.  I’m starting to detect some red and yellow hues in the tree canopies around town.  Of course, more leaves drop each week.  About a month ago, I wrote about the concept of Good, Bad, Who Knows?  A great example of this concept played out for me this past Wednesday.

I’ve been doing some volunteer work, driving older people to doctor’s appointments, running errands, etc.  Last Wednesday I took a lovely 91-year old woman to a dentist appointment.  It was so nice that I rolled the windows down on my car and waited there, reading and writing.  After about an hour, she walked out of the dentist’s office and got back in the car.  I went to start it, and was met with just a repetitive click-click-click sound.  Hmm…what to do?  This was the first time I worked with this particular person, and I’m a little embarassed that my car is not cooperating.  I quickly decided to hail an Uber.  The car arrived in less than ten minutes.  I accompanied my charge back to her home, then had the Uber return me my car.

On the way back, the Uber driver said “I have a friend who drives a tow truck.  He says that most tows could be avoided.  The issue is often just a battery problem.  I have jumper cables - maybe we should try to use them to start your car, then you can get your battery tested.”  So that’s what we did - he attached the jumper cables, and my car started up immediately.  There was an AutoZone store just across the street from the dentist.  I cruised right over and had the battery tested (it was dead).  Within just a few minutes I had a new battery and was able to grab some lunch before visiting my 1pm “client” to take her to the post office and grocery store.

In a span of thirty minutes, I went from thinking my whole day had been turned upside down, to being back on track.  It was a great reminder that sometimes things go better than expected.  I’ve lived long enough to experience real setbacks.  It probably has made me a bit defensive, scanning the horizon too much for adversity, and not enough for good fortune.  Wednesday’s experience reminded me to ask “What could go RIGHT?” in addition to “What can go wrong?”

This isn’t to say we should go through life with blithe optimism.  I’m suggesting something different - we should think through the best case scenario, just in case it happens.  To not walk our minds through best-case situations might leave us unprepared when they present themselves - and they sometimes will appear.  We could botch it for lack of imagination.

It sure can’t hurt to consider best-case scenarios.  Just ask the Ohio State football team - who manufactured a 65-yard touchdown drive to win their game at the end of last night's game against Notre Dame.  Sometimes, through some combination of grit and luck, things work out.

Sunday Supper
This week I’m sharing a dish that I cooked this past Tuesday - Sloppy Jais.  Think Sloppy Joe, with Indian flavors and some spicy Serrano pepper (easily omitted if you don’t like spicy food).  I served this with sweet potato wedges coated in a little olive oil and some of Monika Arora’s Indian spice blend sprinkled on them - these were a perfect complement to the sandwich!  Give 'em a whirl.

Sunday Music
This Sunday I am happy to share with you this recently-released trio performance of Why Am I Treated So Bad, a song I first heard performed by the saxophone great Cannonball Adderley.  The performers are all-stars:  Questlove on drums, Christian McBride on bass, and Norah Jones on keyboards and vocals.  Enjoy!

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Neal

Media’s Messy Middle

Greetings!  The weather in Central Ohio has been fantastic, and the days ahead look wonderful too.  Let’s enjoy it while it lasts.  I don’t know where this morning’s early rain came from, but the day ahead should be fine.  A cadence of weekly leaf collection is now upon me.  

Two weeks into this latest edition of empty nester living, things are settling down a bit.  We’ve rearranged some furniture, and re-established a cooking cadence that makes sense for the two of us.  I made a batch of jambalaya on Tuesday that was super-satisfying.  I’m sure the long absence since we last enjoyed it contributed to its impact.  It was like a mother’s hug.  

Cooking two or three times per week really seems to work for us.  This makes the non-cooking nights shorter and sweeter - simply re-heat some leftovers, and spend a little time cleaning up the few dishes.  When I do cook, I don’t mind cooking a bit extra, or spending a bit more time, since I know that tomorrow I will have the day off, more or less.

It should go without saying just how disruptive technology has been on so many areas of our lives.  It feels to me like it's been happening gradually, and now all at once - at least in terms of how it is playing out in Hollywood.  I’ve written in the past about the news media, and how misaligned its profit motives are with the notion of reporting on important news without being sensationalistic.  Something bigger is happening in the world of movie and television production.

Consider the following:  Technology made it possible for Netflix to shift from being a mail-order movie rental business to streaming movies right into our homes.  Technology has created artificial intelligence.  Large language models are now generating competent drafts of stories, requiring only a few smart prompts from a human.  Technology is now making it possible to digitally replicate the images and voices of our most popular actors and actresses - and also our world leaders (nefarious actors are virtually certain to promote chaos by creating and distributing realistic “deep fake” videos of world leaders in the near future).  Lastly, technology is making it possible for companies like the Walt Disney Company to sell its video content directly to customers, no longer reliant on cable systems to distribute its content.

Any one of these changes would be significant.  In total, they are tectonic in scale, and happening rapidly.

This past Monday, Disney and Charter Communications (which owns Spectrum Cable) came to a retransmission fee agreement just in time for Disney-owned ESPN to air Monday Night Football.  The Writers Guild of America (WGA) has been on strike since May 2nd.  The Screen Actors Guild / American Federation of Television & Radio Artists (SAG-AFTRA) has been on strike since July 14th.  In dispute is the question of how actors and writers can be fairly compensated by production studios for creating television and movies in a world where these things are digitally streamed into peoples’ homes, rather than broadcast over the air.  And there is also the question of how to value digital reproductions of actor’s likenesses and voices for potentially unlimited use in future productions.

It’s a crazy world.  There is quite a reckoning going on in the world of media.  Certainly something similar is coming to an industry near you.  Stay light on your feet, friend!  Use these emerging tools to your advantage.  Surf this wave, rather than having it crash down on you.

Sunday Supper
I have had these Jamaican Beef Patties on the brain ever since I tasted them on a food tour in Toronto five years ago.  (If you find yourself in Toronto, I highly recommend Chopsticks + Forks, a great provider of food tours in the city.)  The only things that have stopped me from making them at home is 1) they take a bit more time to make the pastry dough and 2) my bride doesn’t eat gluten.  But they are a perfect Sunday Supper project!  This Grilled Corn, Tomato, Feta and Herb Salad would be a great accompaniment to the patties.

Sunday Music
My Sunday Music selection this week is this recently-released version of Jackson Browne’s legendary classic, Doctor My Eyes.  It features musicians from all around the globe as part of Playing For Change.  Playing For Change has created many different global collaborations of popular tunes, it is well worth checking out their YouTube channel.  Enjoy!

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Neal

End Game

Good day to you, friend.   I hope this finds you well.  After some bayou-like heat and humidity, things have cooled off a bit.  Cloudiness is the price we pay for the increased comfort.  The days ahead look to be moderate and mostly dry.

Yesterday we had the privilege of celebrating my father-in-law’s 93rd birthday.  That is twenty-nine more years than my father walked this earth, and fifteen more than my mother.  My dear mother-in-law passed away earlier this year.

He is still mentally sharp, and physically able to move about, puttering around his shop and doing yard work.  He still lives in his home.  If I could strike some agreement that ensured I would be this high-functioning at the age of 93, I would likely take that deal.

Not knowing how long we are going to live makes it an interesting challenge to decide how to use our time.  Across any normal time domain for a human life, every second is precious.  Whether I live forty more years, or just four, is there any difference in how I should live day-to-day?

With perfect knowledge of the future, I would live differently in those scenarios.  With just four years left, I would probably travel - a lot.  There is the matter of financial resources.  I sometimes joke that I want my last check to the funeral home to bounce.  Another old chestnut of mortality humor:  I want to be the strongest pall bearer at all my friends’ funerals.  I like this one, because it connotes both longevity and robustness.

An interesting article on one of my favorite websites, The Marginalian, made me aware of a compelling story about art and mortality.  Back around 2014 - 2015, Bay Area artist Susan O’Malley posed the following question to one hundred people, their ages ranging from 7 to 88:  What advice would their future 80-year old selves give to their present self?  The answers were transcribed and converted into public art installations throughout San Francisco.  They were also encapsulated in book form by O’Malley.  But before the book was published, O’Malley fell unconscious and died before she could give birth to the twin girls she was carrying at the time.  Both of the babies perished along with their mother.  The artist’s sudden, tragic death lent the whole project an even stronger sense of immediacy and poignancy.

O’Malley wrote the dedication to the book shortly before she passed.  It was to her husband, and read as follows:  “To Tim, Today, until we’re 80, and then some.”

I don’t know how long I’m going to live.  So I’m going to keep working and saving money for a while longer.  But I can see the finish line.  Most of my life has been split between living for tomorrow, and living for today.  With each passing day, the ratio is inching more and more toward living for this day, right here and now.

Sunday Supper
As we tiptoe into Fall (yes, the leaves are dropping now), I'm going to keep leaning into my grill.  These Sweet & Spicy Apricot-Glazed Pork and Pineapple Kebabs look fantastic.  And this Sweet Corn Cucumber Salad in a Buttermilk Dill Dressing is the perfect complement.

Sunday Music
This Sunday I share a live performance by one of favorite singer-songwriters - Mr. John Hiatt.  This particular performance is about nine years old, and took place at the Milwaukee Summerfest.  Enjoy!

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Neal

False Dilemnas

Hi Friend!

I hope that you had a chance to enjoy this amazing weather we’ve been having.  I snuck out to Virtues Golf Club Wednesday night, hoping to play nine holes before dark.  Surprisingly, I was able to play all eighteen holes in just two hours!  I got there at just the right time…amazing experience.  I continue to revel in the glory of locally grown tomatoes this time of year.  I have a recommendation for you:  Add guacamole to your Bacon, Lettuce & Tomato sandwiches.  It’s a game-changer.

This past week I noticed a post from one of my Facebook connections (a former high school classmate of mine).  It was all text. Here is what it said:

The World: “Trust Your Heart.”

God: “You’re heart is deceitful, therefore you need to guard your heart and trust in me alone.”

Neither The World nor God could be reached for comment regarding the accuracy of these quotes by press time.

My mind immediately began drafting an alternative to both options presented.  Here is what I came up with:
Listen to your instincts, trust your intellect and don’t let occasional mistakes hold you back.  

With few exceptions, these types of A/B comparisons oversimplify complex, nuanced situations.  They are either lazy or bad-faith attempts at swaying opinion.  

An example:  Black Lives Matter v. Back The Blue.  The concepts of appreciating and supporting law enforcement, andexpecting them to treat all citizens in a similar fashion are not mutually exclusive.  They work really well together, actually. 

I get it, we humans need to create shortcuts, to minimize the demands on our brains’ processing power.  Some rubrics really can make life easier.  But buying into false dilemmas such as these is not one of them.

The more I observe our society, the more I think we should have all participated on the Debate Teams in our high school years (if not earlier).  Many of the weak sauce arguments that seem to whip up polarization these days would fizzle out if more of us were clued in to their poor structure and typical purpose.

We need civil, informed, debate.  Of ideas, not popularity contests.  I almost wrote “We need to get back to…” but no.  We just need it.  Now.  Regardless of whatever past may have existed of noble, well-mannered idea exchanges for the common good.

I am now one week closer to the grave than the last time I wrote to you.  And I am feeling antsy about how inefficient we are at all of this.  But it may be true that we are more efficient today than any society has ever been.  Maybe Julius Caesar got more done back in his day, relatively speaking.  Attilla The Hun was pretty effective.  OK, so maybe I should qualify my statement to democracies…that is now stipulated. 

But there is so much room for improvement.  Getting hip to false dilemmas, and refusing to participate in Us/Them games would be a step in the right direction.

Sunday Supper
Its Labor Day weekend, so let’s get our cook on!!  This week I recommend this Grilled Beef Short Rib recipe, paired with Grilled Avocado & Peach Salad w/ Goat Cheese, and these Lemon Bars for a sweet finish.  Enjoy!

Sunday Music
I really like Imogen Heap.  She is one of one.  A bit eccentric.  Very brilliant.  Here is a recent live performance by her at the Royal Albert Hall.  The set list was selected by her fans, and spans over fifteen years of her career.  Enjoy!

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Neal

Many ‘Me’s

Hello there!

I hope you are well.  It was another robust week in my world.  We got child #2 settled in to his apartment at college, so now the home nest is emptied of offspring and in some disarray.  A fair number of furniture items have wandered off to serve the lads, leaving Lori and I with some re-arranging, re-organizing and re-imagining to do on the home front.  Step #1 is to simply regroup, which we have done reasonably well this weekend.  

I continue to ponder how we all make sense of the world.  The word “polarized” is thrown around a lot these days, certainly with some merit.  But even in less polarized times, we humans can and do hold a wide range of views and beliefs.  

Thanks to social media networks, I have noticed something that perhaps you have too:  There seems to be regional tendencies toward holding certain views.  My Texas friends tend to mirror each other in certain ways, as do my East Coast friends and my West Coast friends, and us Midwesterners.  This is not to say that folks regionally follow each other in lockstep - just that there are tendencies… have you noticed this?

To the extent this observation is accurate, I wonder just how different I might be if I lived somewhere else.  What views might Texas Neal hold that Ohio Neal does not?  The degree to which these versions of me might differ probably depends on how much time I spend in a different culture.  Maybe it works something like sun-brewed tea:  the longer you steep yourself in it, the more culture infuses into your views.

I guess this doesn’t have to be exclusively geographic - I can see a similar effect on people based on their involvement in faith communities, organizations like the military, or even professional/industry involvement. 

How much of our makeup is firm inner core, that remains unchanged regardless of our whereabouts?  How much is a softer, more malleable outer covering, influenced by the people and broader community in which we live?  

I’m sure this all varies from person-to-person, but it raises an interesting question:  What views are we holding today that might be different if we lived in a different community?  How we form our views, and how we revise them over time is fascinating to me.  Maybe I’m drawn to these questions due to the overall cultural climate in America right now.  Maybe it’s just the stage of life that I currently occupy.

I’m not sure about any of it, but I am thinking about it.  This week’s thoughts are not as cohesive as some I’ve shared in the past, but this is what I’ve got this week.  I could have pivoted to some food-centric topic and avoided this blurry missive, but decided to share it.  I think its important to consider why we hold our views, and what conditions are necessary for us to revise them.  This essay on The Backfire Effect speaks to this.  I guess I will simply leave it at that for now.

Sunday Supper
Since we are in the sweet spot of late summer, I recommend grilling a nice piece of poultry, meat or fish and pairing it with this Cheesy Broccoli Rice Casserole.  Enjoy!

Sunday Music
This Sunday’s musical recommendation is a concert performed by the electronic pop duo Sylvan Esso.  (The fact that they hail from Durham, North Carolina is purely coincidental.)  Enjoy!

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Neal

Good, Bad, Who Knows?

Hello, friend!

I hope this week treated you well (and if it didn’t I hope you had the good sense to treat yourself well at least).

My week was a whirlwind, shortened by it starting in Durham on Monday (I got home Monday night from the “big move” of our older child to Durham, North Carolina).  It was further compressed by the preparations we are making to relocate our younger son to Cleveland.  I’m thankful that Cleveland is a bit closer to Granville. 

By the time I was “wheels up” on the direct flight to Columbus from Raleigh-Durham, I had the strong sense that our son is truly in the catbird seat.  A great little apartment, within walking distance of the downtown scene and a quick commute to Duke’s campus.  But I then I thought of the parable of the Chinese Farmer, and I checked myself a tiny bit.

You may have heard of it, but I’ll share it briefly.  A farmer in China had his only horse escape the corral and run away.  All of the neighbors expressed their sorrow for him, saying “We’re so sorry you suffered this misfortune.”  The farmer replied “Good news, bad news, who knows?”  A few days later, the horse returned to the farm - bringing with it a wild stallion it had befriended.  The neighbors rejoiced, saying “What good luck!  Congratulations.”  The farmer replied “Good news, bad news, who knows”. The following week, the farmer’s oldest son broke his arm while trying to train the stallion, so that they could use it to do farm work.  The neighbors again commiserated with the farmer, who replied “Good news, bad news, who knows?”  A couple of weeks later, a commander in the Chinese army came to conscript all able-bodied men into the army, to go and fight a war for the emperor.  Because the farmer’s son had a broken arm, the army did not take him to the war.

The singer/songwriter/actor/artist Tom Waits tells a similar tale.  "My kids are starting to notice I'm a little different from the other dads. 'Why don't you have a straight job like everyone else?' they asked me the other day.  I told them this story: In the forest, there was a crooked tree and a straight tree. Every day, the straight tree would say to the crooked tree, Look at me… I'm tall, and I'm straight, and I'm handsome. Look at you. you're all crooked and bent over. No one wants to look at you. And they grew up in that forest together. And then one day the loggers came, and they saw the crooked tree and the straight tree, and they said, 'Just cut the straight trees and leave the rest.' So the loggers turned all the straight trees into lumber and toothpicks and paper. And the crooked tree is still there, growing stronger and stranger every day.”

You get the point - any given event might seem good or bad, but life plays out across a longer timeframe.  So, it is indeed wonderful that we got our son settled in to a good situation at school.  We’re going to to do it again this weekend with his brother.  We are so fortunate to be doing these things for them.  We all work hard, and plan ahead.  And sometimes, despite our best efforts, things don’t pan out.  So, who knows?  Let’s just keep growing stronger and stranger each day.

Sunday Supper
I must admit I cut quite a few corners on the food front this past week.  Today’s Sunday Supper recommendation is what I should have been cooking and eating.  These simple Thai Chicken Zucchini Curry Meatballs make for a comforting, healthy meal tonight - give them a try!  A next-level finish to the meal would be this Thai Rice Pudding.  It looks amazing.

Sunday Music
It is easy to take super-talented people for granted.  This NPR Tiny Desk concert from twelve years ago features the British diva Adele with minimal accompaniment.  It is a rare opportunity to see just how much mastery she has achieved with her vocal instrument, without all those fancy production techniques.

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Neal

Gratitude Pies

Hi there!

What a whirlwind week this has been.  As I mentioned last week, my friend John delivered two pecks of Red Haven peaches last Sunday.  This propelled me into a glorious two-day baking frenzy, juggling all sorts of other responsibilities at the same time.  

I made a bunch of hand pies on Monday, but they are fairly time-intensive.  So on Tuesday I kept things simple and made four large tarts to make use of the rest of my dough and fruit.  It was so fun to surprise people with these treats.  As I type this, I’m thinking of everyone I didn’t get to with this effort.  Somehow my brain is able to find an opportunity for self-criticism even in the course of doing something generous.  I recognize this for what it is - just a monkey chattering in a tree at me.  Any friends who might read this and didn’t get in on the action - please know that I love you, and will do something nice for you soon.

This little baking diversion could have been better-timed, given everything else going on in my world - especially the fact that we are preparing to move our oldest child off to grad school in North Carolina.  As you read this, we are down there, settling him in.

Because I am frugal, I waited until the movie Everything, Everywhere, All At Once was available for online rental.  I watched it last Sunday night, and wow was it great.  It’s a beautiful, surreal story told in a unique fashion - one that requires something extra of the viewer compared to more traditional movies.  But the extra investment is very much worth it.  What a lovely, lovely story - I highly recommend it.  Hang in through the first 1/3rd and you will be glad you did.

An extra element of sweetness comes from the fact that many of the actors were also in a movie that was released about five years ago called Crazy Rich Asians.  

In 2018, when we were taking this same child off to Butler University to start his undergraduate studies, you could cut the tension in the air with a knife as we drove to Indianapolis.  It was as if we all were counting in our heads the number of times he had slept somewhere other than his own bed, and let me tell you, I didn’t need both hands to do this.  Now he would be living three hours from home, with a strange roommate…the reality was sinking in and intimidating him something fierce.

After we got him settled into his dorm, the three of us retreated to a nearby movie theater and watched Crazy Rich Asians as a diversion.  For a couple of hours we were able to relax in brisk air conditioned-comfort, delaying our eventual departure.

So it was especially poignant to see these same actors give amazing performances in a much more sophisticated film.  It’s as if they all grew up and matured, just like my son.

Sunday Supper
While all the local produce is fresh and abundant, let’s keep leaning into it!  Serious Eats offers up three great recipes for this week’s Sunday Supper.  First is this Grilled Tarragon-Mustard Chicken Skewer, complemented by this Spicy Summer Tomato Salad and Creamy Corn Dip with Feta, Mint and Tomatoes.  Enjoy!

Sunday Music
My Sunday Music recommendation this week is this wonderful acoustic jazz trio performance from 2018 by Chick Corey (piano), John Patitucci (bass) and Dave Weckl (bass).  

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Neal

(In)Appropriate

Hello again!

Local tomatoes went into turbo drive this week.  Friday night I made a big bowl of fresh salsa, Saturday’s lunch was BLT sandwiches, and Saturday supper included a fresh Caprese salad.  My thumb is still numb from working gloveless with the jalapeños, and my mouth is already starting to resist too many bites of acidic tomatoes.  But they are SO fresh.  SO delicious.  SO of the moment, right now at their peak.  Before too long they’ll be gone, and I’m sure I will be partly relieved to have a break from them.  But for now I’m heaven.

Later today I expect my friend John to return from his annual pilgrimage to an orchard near Port Clinton, where he buys as many Red Haven peaches as he can fit in the bed of his truck for friends and family while they are at their peak.  I’ve blocked a good portion of my calendar out tomorrow, to ensure I have the time to preserve them at their best.  Peach Day is kind of like a snow day - you drop everything and change your plans to accommodate them.

Sinead O’Connor died on July 26th.  The Irish artist lived a passionate life.  Though not confirmed, it is discretely presumed that she took her own life.  She was open about her mental health struggles, especially since the death of her 17-year old son by suicide eighteen months prior.  Earlier in July, she had posted on Twitter: “Been living as undead night creature since.. He was the love of my life, the lamp of my soul," she wrote of her late son. "We were one soul in two halves. He was the only person who ever loved me unconditionally. I am lost in the bardo without him.”  

Two words frequently used to describe O’Connors life are “passionate” and “defiant.”  In 1992, on live television (Saturday Night Live), O’Connor tore up a picture of Pope John Paul II after singing a rendition of Bob Marley’s song War, with new lyrics related to child abuse, saying to the screen “Fight the real enemy” as she threw the pieces of the picture to the ground.

The actor Joe Pesci hosted SNL the following week, and in his opening monologue suggested half-jokingly that if he had been in the studio when O’Connor’s protest occurred, “I would have gave her such a smack…” I say “half-jokingly” because he was obviously playing the tough mobster-style character that he often portrays in movies.  But it stands out to watch his monologue, and the audience's response to it, today.

At the time, the general response to O’Connor in the weeks and months following this defiant act of protest was pretty negative.  She took a real risk, and paid a real price in terms of her career.  But she also engendered a lot of support.  And from the perspective of today, knowing what we know about the scope of the abuse she was protesting, its hard to think anything about her other than she was a canary in a coal mine, singing to warn us of danger.  May her memory be a blessing.

As news broke of a new set of criminal indictments against our former president Donald Trump this week, I couldn’t help but think about it through this same lens of time.  He is another example of someone whose actions are viewed as either appropriate or inappropriate, with no middle ground.  In thirty years, I wonder what the consensus view of him his actions will be.  I hope I’m around to observe this.

As humanity keeps stumbling into the future, I generally think we are getting better.  But it can be a bumpy ride.  Two steps forward, three steps back, one giant leap for mankind…if we don’t blow ourselves up or make our habitat uninhabitable, I think things will continue to get better for all of us, everywhere around the world.  It will be a long time before opportunities and standards of living are evenly distributed, but we tiptoe in this direction.  Even in the span of three generations of my family, I see massive progress.  Granted, this all took place in the most prosperous society on Earth.  But if we can’t make such progress here, there’s not much hope elsewhere.  

I have hope, and wish the same for you.

Sunday Supper
On Tuesday I made a great salmon recipe from the New York Times Cooking section:  The fish was poached in coconut milk with dill and green beans, then topped with freshly shaved sweet corn and halved cherry tomatoes.

Since NYT Cooking has a paywall, I will share this salmon recipe instead, and suggest adding some green beans in with the fish, then separately you can make a side salad by whisking together a half can of coconut milk, one tablespoon of brown sugar, 1 tablespoon of sherry vinegar, one teaspoon of Dijon mustard and some fresh chopped dill (salt this mixture to taste), then adding in shaved sweet corn (4-6 ears) and a pint of halved cherry tomatoes.  Enjoy this mixture as a side salad, or simply top the cooked fish with it and it will be very similar to what we had this past Tuesday.  It is a great way to enjoy the freshness of the moment.  Enjoy!

Sunday Music
This hour-plus live concert of Sinead O’Connor in Brussels, Belgium was recorded just three years ago, and displays her in all her signature fierceness.  

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Neal

Opportunity Tetris

Hello, Friend!

I hope you are staying cool.  The hot, muggy July weather is pretty profound.  I try to get my outdoor tasks done early or late in the day, and sip on something cool throughout the heat of the day.  La Croix sparkling water with a splash of limeade is pretty refreshing.  The days ahead look a bit more moderate, which will be nice.

A thought occurred to me this week:  What if, instead of us moving forward through time, time was constantly flowing toward us?  This seemingly modest shift in perspective cracked open a number of thoughts.

It brought to mind the notion of standing in a river, with all sorts of potentialities flowing toward me.  Which ones are attractive?  Which ones are dangerous, and to be avoided?  How much work do I need to do to prepare for an opportunity as it approaches?

Some people are born with access to a different part of this river - they stand at a point where there are fewer good opportunities, the flow of things is slower.  Others are born near a rapids, where numerous, rich opportunities are funneled into a narrow channel, making it easier to access them.

In the traditional framing of time, if there is an opportunity of interest, it sits out there - in the future.  It feels more static - the opportunity will sit there, waiting for us to approach it via whatever preparations we need to perform to address it.  Thus, opportunity is something we can get around to pursuing when the time is right.

In this reframing of time as an ever-flowing stream of opportunities that are moving toward us, the future is now - or at least soon.  We have to actively prepare to take advantage of them, before they slide past us.  In this model, life becomes like a game of Tetris, and our job is to scan the horizon, see what opportunities are of interest to us, then work to shape ourselves so as to capture that opportunity when it arrives.

For me at least, the reframe is helpful.  It creates a positive sense of urgency, to take action now so that I’m ready when opportunity arrives.  The future is not far from this very moment, and I must get ready for it.  Einstein might say this is a difference without a distinction - us moving toward a future opportunity, or that opportunity flowing toward us.  In many respects, it’s the same thing.  But I prefer the reframe.  I think it serves me better.  

We’ll see.  It felt like something worth sharing this week.  However you find yourself moving through the space-time continuum, I wish you well.

Sunday Supper

I saw sweet corn at the Granville Farmer’s Market for the first time this season yesterday.  I don’t know where it was grown (probably not in Ohio, but OK).  We are definitely nearing peak growing season for many fruits and vegetables.  I was in Chicago earlier this week, so am regrouping a bit, and recharging.  I’m keeping this week’s Sunday Supper recommendation simple, and leaning on the fresh produce that is available.  Give this vegetarian Indian dish, Aloo Gobi a try - but add in some fresh local produce, like spinach, kale, broccoli.  Last night for dinner, I paired the Aloo Gobi with some grilled boneless chicken thighs, spiced with Monica Arora's wonderful Maani's Chicken Tikka Spice blend.  For dessert, try this classic Peach Crisp, with fresh local peaches and a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

Sunday Music

This Sunday, I am pleased to introduce you to Ólafur Arnalds, an Icelandic multi-instrumentalist and producer of music.  This concert provides wonderful background music for your day, as well as stunning views of the Icelandic landscape if you care to watch the video.  Enjoy!

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Neal

Mr. Mom

Greetings, friend!

I hope this missive finds you well.  This beautiful summer continues to rocket by faster than I can fathom.  We have some good friends who are relocating to a different city.  I have loved watching their kids grow up, and wanted to throw them something of a farewell brunch.  Yesterday I whipped up a batch of buttermilk biscuits, a pan of sausage gravy and some chocolate chip pancakes and we had a great time.  The kids lavished Nova with affection.  It was so wonderful.  We’re going to miss seeing them day-to-day, but look forward to visiting them in their new home.

Somehow the 1983 movie, Mr. Mom, starring Michael Keaton and Teri Garr hit my radar recently.  It prompted me to reflect a bit on how different our household has been in comparison to the one in which I grew up.  From my perspective, they are strikingly similar - but they are different in terms of who does what around here.

As our primary cook, I fill the role that my mother played when I was growing up.  I fell into it organically - Lori commuted to work while I worked from home.  This put me in the position of being "first responder" when it came to getting dinner on the table.  Sometimes it also made me the giver of baths to our young boys, and reader of bedtime stories if the demands of her career called for her to be out of town, or working late into the night.

Food, diet, nutrition, dinner - however you frame it, we’ve got to eat.  And I’ve been the person to to make that happen, more often than not.  It's less unusual for a man to play this role in households today, but being the family cook still tends to be “women’s work” in some peoples’ minds.  Regardless of how I fell into this role, I’m glad that our boys got see me cooking on a regular basis.  Feeding one’s family should not be considered a gendered activity.  We all like to eat good food (however one might define that), so whomever is in the best position to get the job done should do so. 

It’s no secret that I think that love is the secret ingredient in home cooking.  We regularly rely on food to celebrate our accomplishments, to lift our spirits, or nurture us back to health when we are under the weather.  Thoughtfully deciding what food will meet the moment is important, I believe. 

Life is a team sport!  There are a lot of different ways to get the essential activities of a household handled.  I’m glad that our boys got to see the flexibility that both Lori and I bring to these essential tasks.

As for the movie Mr. Mom, my short review is that it doesn’t hold up very well.  Too many sexist tropes, sad to say.  It was interesting to revisit this piece of culture that was released just as I was entering high school…times certainly have changed.

Sunday Supper
In last week’s post, I mentioned that I was thinking of zucchini fritters.  I made these last Tuesday, and they were delicious.  Last Sunday I made this Lebanese stew called Loubieh (pronounced LOO-bee) - something I do every year.  Both of these recipes represent the epitome of summer eating.  I’m so predictable - Facebook literally served me a reminder that I had made a post one year prior of the Loubieh that I made around the same time last year!  You can set your calendar to my cooking patterns.

Sunday Music
This Sunday, I am pleased to introduce you to the Neo-soul group from Amsterdam called Feng Suave.  This 20-minute concert is a fine listen on a Sunday morning.  Enjoy!

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Neal

Sorghum v. Molasses

Good day to you!

I hope you had a fine week.  All was solid in my world, but I wouldn’t mind slowing time down just a little bit.  The noise from the hawks across the street is becoming less frequent, which tells me the fledglings are flying further afield and starting to take care of themselves.

Yesterday I enjoyed the first batch of Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato sandwiches featuring bread, tomatoes and lettuce from the farmers market.  Truly one of my favorite summer time foods.  Zucchini fritters are on my mind, so they’ll be on my plate soon.

Yesterday morning I baked some buttermilk biscuit trimmings (the scraps left over after cutting a batch of biscuits), topping them with a little pan of sausage gravy that I made using Copia Farms’ spicy sausage patties.  There were a few little pieces of biscuit left over, which I topped with some molasses as a sweet finish.

I genuinely love the dark, sweet taste of molasses and its close cousin, sweet sorghum.  It is for me one of the defining flavors of Appalachian cuisine.  The differences between the two are somewhat subtle.  Sweet sorghum is made by boiling down the juices squeezed out of sorghum cane, and molasses is made by boiling down the juices squeezed from sugar cane.  These two different varieties of cane are both members of the grass family (as is sweet corn, which also grows in similar looking stalks), which results in slightly different characteristics.

Sorghum tends to lighter in color, a bit thinner and slightly sweeter. It tends to be used more as a syrup topping than a baking ingredient.  The more you boil sorghum, the denser and darker the liquid becomes, but it never crystalizes.  Molasses will crystallize if reduced too much.  Sorghum is also higher in calories than Molasses or Maple Syrup, and surprisingly rich in iron, calcium and potassium.

I’m partial to Sorghum because it is what my grandfather used to make on his mountain top in West Virginia.  It is a laborious process that requires a lot of time.  First the stalks of the sorghum cane must be cut, then run through a press (which back in the day was powered by a mule walking around in a circle, a beam connected to it that turned the crank of the press).  The pressed juices would be passed through some cheesecloth to filter out particulate, and the liquid would then be boiled in a wide, long and shallow evaporator pan to reduce it into the concentrated syrup.  This video provides a good overview of the process.

A good BLT sandwich.  A nice buttermilk biscuit.  And molasses, (or sweet sorghum).  Tastes of summer, and tastes of my heritage.  I don’t care how hot it gets these next few weeks.  I’m going to soak it up and keep enjoying the bounty.

Sunday Supper
Rolling with this week’s theme, how about these Molasses Glazed Chicken Thighs, with this Dilled Potato Salad and this Upside-Down Pear Gingerbread Cake for dessert.  Enjoy!

Sunday Music
This performance of Jimi Hendrix’s Little Wing by Jason Isbell & the 400 Unit with special guest Mike McCready is really nice.  And this live set by John Mayer earlier this summer was a surprise to people attending an Ed Sheeran show earlier this summer.    

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Neal

The Asymmetry Of Ignorance

Hello, hello, hello!

I hope you are well, recovered from the July 4th celebration with all of your digits intact.  The family of hawks in the front yard at St. Edward the Confessor continues its chorus of squawks and screeches.  It’s music to my ears.  The weeding and mulching that Lori and I have accomplished over the past week makes my eyes happy.

This week I’ve been mulling over the asymmetrical challenge represented by bad information.  Someone with a big enough megaphone, charisma, and sufficient confidence can say a lot of inaccurate things, and the work required to correct the public understanding is considerably larger than than the time and energy required to spread the bad information in the first place.

The earth is flat.  Vaccines do more harm than good.  The election was stolen.  9/11 was an inside job.

On and on, there is no shortage of bad ideas, hoaxes, conspiracy theories, and misinformation.  These flawed concepts move about with zero friction across the globe via the internet.  Some of them may be misunderstandings, shared by concerned people in good faith.  A lot of this stuff is blatant misinformation being spread in bad faith to sow confusion and dissent in society.  All too often, journalists default into “both sides” framing, and in doing so give bad ideas more credibility than they deserve.  

In social media, about a month ago, podcast interviewer/comedian Joe Rogan used his Twitter account to offer Dr. Peter Hotez $100,000 (to the charity of Hotez’s choice) to come on his show to debate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. regarding statements made by Kennedy that Hotez characterized as “misinformation.”  Lots of other people upped the ante, pledging even more money to make this debate happen.  Dr. Hotez declined the invitation (and faced a massive amount of harassment and threats from people, thanks to the immense spotlight placed on him by Rogan).  Hotez pointed out that scientific facts are not up for debate, and that Kennedy lacks the technical background to have a meaningful dialogue.

The internet has created plenty of benefits, but it has also generated lots of negative consequences.  There’s something to be said for the curatorial role major traditional news outlets used to play in the pre-internet era.  Walter Cronkite would not have entertained such nonsense.  With great curation comes great responsibility, though.  I understand the risks of relying on too few decision makers in determining what gets shared as the news of the day.  Important, relevant things can be left out (and sometimes are).

I have enjoyed listening to many of Rogan’s interviews, but much prefer the “two guys having a beer and shooting the breeze” version of Joe over the one who tries to wade into deeper, more technical topics without sufficient technical knowledge.

There is no easy way to mitigate this issue.  I have come to believe that there should be far less energy spent debunking the growing volume of misinformation.  Instead, let's allow those who subscribe to bad ideas to run with them, and feel the sting of their associated consequences.  Let’s get Darwin back in the game.  You don’t trust vaccines?  Don’t take them.  Not every bad idea has such a stark Darwinian mechanism.  But I have to give it to "Mad Mike" Hughes - this guy was really committed to his flat-earth beliefs.

Conspiracy theories have a seductive aspect to them - they create the feeling of letting us in on special knowledge that is not available to everyone.  It feels good to have the insider’s edge - provided that it is accurate.  Mark Twain is famously quoted as saying “A lie will go ‘round the world while the truth is getting its boots on.”  Never has this been more true.  Since we don’t have Mr. Cronkite to act as a screener for the nonsense, it's up to each of us to deal with it on our own.  More often than not, I think the best approach is to not reward stupidity with our time, attention or energy.  Stay observant, friend!  The challenge of this moment is unique, but I believe in us.

Sunday Supper
I've been thinking about this recipe for a while, and when I saw some properly-sized zucchini at the Farmers' Market (thank you, Bird's Haven Farm), I knew it was time to make a favorite Lebanese dish called Kousa (stuffed squash).  This is a good weekend recipe, as it takes a bit more prep time, and cook time on the stove top.  Tender squash, filled with rice and spiced beef, bathed in a garlicky tomato sauce...yes!  Enjoy.

Sunday Music
This nearly hour-long live performance by pianist Brad Mehldau in Vienna back in 2010 makes for a great listen. 

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Neal

Life, Liberty, Happiness

Happy Holiday To You!

I hope that this past week has been good to you.  Be careful with the fireworks this week - let’s keep all our fingers attached, OK?  The steady rain this morning has Nova curled up on the couch, wondering when we will get to go for a walk.

I heard a chorus of Red-Tailed Hawks screeching across the street yesterday. The parents and fledglings all seemed to be mightily engaged in this thing called life.  It’s hard for me to distinctly identify it, but I believe that the fledgling that left the nest early (the focus of last week’s newsletter) is doing well and probably flying now.

The Independence Day holiday, coupled with this past week’s rulings handed down from the U.S. Supreme Court, have me thinking about how the American Experiment is faring these days.  Back in 1776, the signers of the Declaration of Independence had some very legitimate beefs with King George III.  In addition to serving as a detailed airing of the American colonies’ grievances against the king, the document declared that “all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

I have little doubt that U.S. citizens generally enjoy a high degree of unfettered access to these three unalienable rights, but our society is far from perfect in making them equally available to every citizen.  Even if I felt capable of articulating a coherent analysis of the SCOTUS rulings, the fact is that I have cookouts to attend, salads to make, baby back ribs to smoke, and happiness to be pursued, just as our founders wanted.  So I’m not going completely down the judicial analysis rabbit hole this weekend.

But I will offer this for your consideration as we approach Independence Day:  Given the diversity of our citizenry, the best we can hope for is a society that works hard to maintain a balance in the dynamic tensions that arise from rights that sometimes compete with each other.  Very few of us, given the opportunity to “turn the knobs” on the Dashboard of Liberty (I just invented this, but you get the idea), would land on the exact same settings.

Some of us would award a tiny fetus more right to Life, at the expense of Liberty (and possibly Happiness) for its mother.  Some people feel that same-sex couples should not be afforded the same Liberty to marry as male/female pairings.  A fair summation of my guiding mantra is simply “To Live and Let Live.”  There are no settings on the Dashboard of Liberty that will please everyone.  We will always have some measure of displeasure/disappointment with the rulings of the highest court in the land.  If we accept this basic truth, and are a little more respectful of everyone’s right to hold views that differ from our own, we will tiptoe ever so slowly in the direction of forming a more perfect union.

It is undeniable that America has come a long way.  More Americans enjoy equality, liberty, freedom and happiness to higher degrees than ever before.  Yet if we were to reboot our lives, restarting the game of Life In America as a different character, aren’t there some options you would prefer, and others you would actively avoid?  Until the day comes when we would all gladly restart the game as any possible character, we have more work to do.

Light the grill.  Slice the watermelon.  Ride the rides.  Let’s have fun this week!  Then it’s back to work.

Sunday Supper
Last week Lori I watched season two of The Bear, streaming on Hulu.  It made me hungry for a good, slow-cooked Italian Beef Sandwich.  This recipe can feed a crowd, and may be a good alternative to grilling in the rain.  This Crunchy Cabbage Salad would be a great complement to the sandwiches (Lori and I took this one to a potluck last night and highly endorse it).

Sunday Music
This performance by Mandolin Orange (now re-named Watchhouse) is a lovely bit of bluegrass to enjoy on this gray morning.  This husband-wife duo, Andrew Marlin and Emily Frantz are based on Chapel Hill, North Carolina and have been performing together since 2010.  Enjoy!

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Neal

Hawk Talk

Hello there!

I hope your week has been good.  All is well in my world, a bit quiet.  Just plunking along…The weather in the days ahead looks like a nice, moderate stretch of summer.  Can you feel the days getting shorter already, now that the summer solstice is behind us?

About ten days ago, I noticed a fledgling red-tailed hawk standing at the foot of a big sycamore tree in the front yard at St. Edward the Confessor Catholic Church.  I had been watching the nest that its mother built for many weeks. The bird looked a bit confused, but not injured.  It seemed to have left the nest a little sooner than it should have.  Some of its juvenile feathers gave it the appearance of having a cowlick, Dennis the Menace-style.  It was the size of a small chicken - not a chick by any means, but also not quite ready to fly.  It screeched frequently, and its calls were answered by mama or papa.

Passers-by soon started noticing this creature, and soon thereafter the hawk talk on Facebook began.  Should we intervene?  Will its mother still care for it?  Does anyone know of a rescue agency we could contact?  All well-intentioned, but the dialogue yielded a really wide range of views (can you imagine that?!).  My past experiences raising poultry and my frequent check-ins to see the bird had me feeling like it was in pretty good shape, and getting more robust each day.  I saw mama sitting with it early Saturday morning, so I was hopeful she was still feeding it. 

Come Monday morning, the bird was gone.  Someone in the “Granville In The Know” Facebook group reported that someone from the Ohio Wildlife Center captured the bird last Sunday night (Fathers Day), was inspecting it, and would soon return it to the area.  Thursday evening, while mowing the grass I noticed a woman and her two children standing in the yard at St. Ed’s, looking up at the tree canopy.  After putting the mower away, I spoke with her, and she confirmed the hawk was returned - and pointed it out, sitting high up in one of the trees!  According to her, the folks at the Ohio Wildlife Center made sure the bird had plenty of hydration and some food, returning it to its yard on Wednesday.  Papa has been feeding it as well.  Friday morning I heard not only our adventurous bird, but its siblings screeching for food from the nest.  Papa screeched back, so all seemed to be back to normal.

Watching this adolescent bird deal with the consequences of its actions has been exciting.  I definitely feel some caretaker instincts about the little thing.  I started calling it “Henry the Hawk,” in honor of the fact that our son Henry will soon be flying the coop for grad school.  Like the bird, Henry seems to be feeling some tentativeness about this upcoming transition.  I know he’s ready.  Before we know it, he’ll be soaring.

Sunday Supper
All this bird talk inspires this week’s Sunday Supper recommendation - Grilled Chicken with Cucumber, Radish and Cherry Tomato Relish, from Martha Stewart.  (You know that little hawk would love to tear into some chicken now, don’t you?).  It would pair well with this Macaroni Salad.  Enjoy!

Sunday Music
If you’ve not heard of the World Cafe radio program, I’m pleased to introduce it to you.  It is a show produced by WXPN, a public radio station in Philadelphia and carried locally by WCBE.  Its purpose is to introduce listeners to up-and-coming musical artists, as well as to check in with legendary performers occasionally.  Here is a recent live performance by Josh Ritter, a performance of Rosemary With A Bible and a Gun, by the Drive-By Truckers, and here is Kacey Musgrave performing High Horse.  World Cafe’s YouTube channel is a fun rabbit hole to run down when you are looking for interesting new artists - enjoy!

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Neal

RHYMES

I do Morning Pages, which is a daily practice of writing three long-hand pages, stream-of-consciousness stuff. Sometimes when I feel blocked, I write rhyming phrases just to get something on the page.

Here are a few recent ideas that came out of this process:

—-

Life is weird.

I ain't skeered.

No time for fear, everything is clear.

Gotta move on from here.

The status quo has got to go.

Paralysis by phalluses.

—-

Old calendar items that I can't seem to erase.

Popping up in my face.

Legacies of disgrace.

Time to wipe them out, to erase.

—-

Is this just a phase that I will outgrow?

Is there any way to know?

Is something truly wrong or is this just the rough part of the song?

—-

When I can't write a coherent sentence I just rhyme.

At least it lets me keep time.

—-

The things I can lean on are getting fewer and lesser.

Starting to bother and fester.

There is a good man inside, capable.

Increasingly he's unwakeable.

Wandering from thing to thing, nothing makes me sing.

—-

In the Rat Race I got a flat tire, then my engine caught fire.

Only piece left on the board is a pawn.

Only simple moves left.

I once was so deft.

—-

Painting myself into corners when there are no borders is self-limiting to the thing that could make my heart sing.

—-

Feel the sting of the universe's ambivalence.

It's so tempting to acquiesce.

Give in to indifference.

Rising up is an act of defiance, in spite of the science.

Law of Gravity says "stay down" so I leash up the dog and walk around town.

Free associate.

Syncopate.

But never, ever accept your fate.

—-

So much in this world is fictitious and delicious but too often not nutritious.

—-

El Niño is starting to steam, oh.

Braising us low and slow.

Next thing you know, there'll be no more snow.

We're living to see it.

Nevermore will we ski it.

The fire's in the sky now.

Elon wants to fly now.

But there ain't no time for the cow to jump over the moon.

—-

Have I not recovered from the loss?

What is sticking around, in the way?

Things look wide open, why do I stay?

—-

Strong, like bull

Good Day, Neighbor!

I hope this week’s newsletter finds you well.  We finally got some decent rainfall this past week, but things are going to stay dry at least until Friday, as far as I can tell.

Back in February when I learned that Pat Metheny would be playing at The Midland Theater tonight, Lori and I immediately ordered four seats for the show - certain that my friend Peter would be joining us, along with his girlfriend.  We weren’t wrong, and once we realized that June 18th was also Father’s Day, the whole scope of the day blew up.

Pete and Christine came down from Toledo Saturday night, staying at Ghostwriter’s Air BnB lodging in Johnstown (a wonderful option if you have friends visiting from out of town).   This gave us more time, allowing us to play a round of golf this morning (while the ladies enjoy some spa treatments), followed by relaxation and viewing the final round of the U.S. Open golf tournament before heading over to the concert at The Midland.

With our kids now all adults, it’s easier for us to indulge in boondoggles such as this.  It being Father’s Day, I am compelled to acknowledge the amazing work Peter has done as a father.  We lost his wife, Anna, to breast cancer eleven years ago now.  Peter single-handedly raised the kids, getting them all through college (Lauren’s not quite done, but she’s a lock to complete her undergraduate degree) while overseeing the merger and growth of his dental practice (which was founded by his father)…  Having known Peter since the summer after my freshman year at Ohio State, his accomplishments have kind of snuck up on me over the years.  They happened slowly, over time, through dedicated effort.  It’s only now, looking back that we can see the true scope of it.  He has met every challenge - some of which fall outside the scope of parenting.  And he can still hit a golf ball so darned well…

Today’s an extra-great day for me.  A confluence of some of the most special activities and people in my life.  I’m just soaking it up.

Sunday Supper
Here is my full Father’s Day meal plan.  First we have dips and chips, to enjoy while watching the golf tournament:  Buffalo Chicken Dip (sorry, Frank’s Red Hot, my favorite wing sauce is Yellowbird’s Bliss & Vinegar).  Baba Ganoush.  For dinner I’m grilling tri-tip roast marinated in this simple marinade, served with this spicy romesco sauce.  We’re browning off these potato pavé planks for our starch, and tossing a fattoush-style shaved Brussels sprout salad in a Za’atar Tahini lemon dressing.  For dessert, I made these homemade Butterfinger treats.  Enjoy!

Sunday Music
In September 1979, the Canadian singer-songwriter Joni Mitchell recorded a live performance at the Hollywood bowl that would be released as a double album titled Shadows And Light, featuring none other than Pat Metheny on lead guitar (and Pat’s long-time sidekicks Lyle Mays and Jaco Pistorius on keyboards and bass, respectively).  This video of that concert is fantastic

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Neal

Listen up

Hello, Friend!

The sun continues to shine, and the flowers are still so fragrant.  Spring has been rolling along quite nicely - but we need a bit of rain to keep the farmers happy.  (I’m a big fan of happy farmers…).  It looks like today will probably be the day we are graced with some rain.

Lori and I made it out to Oregon for our friends’ wedding.  The logistics and weather could not have been more favorable.  It was so, so good in every way.  I officiated my first wedding.  It went well, but I couldn’t help but learn from the experience.  It’s kind of like making pancakes - the first one is fine, but they get better with repetition.  I avoided all of the easiest blunders, so there’s that.  The ceremony occurred on a bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean, and the wind really kicked up.  A tent shading some musicians was well-anchored, but my confidence in it was not 100%.  I kept things moving along so we could take it down before the wind did it for us.

That same wind (plus a little more) re-appeared the next afternoon for my round of golf at Pacific Dunes.  What a magical day - I literally had the course all to myself for most of the afternoon.  No one had teed off for about an hour before me, and none were scheduled for a quite a while after my tee time.  Lori, my caddy Joaquin and I didn’t catch up to the players ahead of us until the 16th tee box.  The wind wreaked havoc on my score, but I’d do it again in a heartbeat.  A few pictures from my round of golf can be found here (scroll to the bottom for the golf stuff).

I listened to Preet Barara’s podcast, Stay Tuned With Preet, this past week and it is the inspiration for today’s theme.  The podcast covers a lot of ground, and drives home for me the importance of improving my own listening skills.  We all understand that listening is more than just waiting for our turn to talk.  Done properly, a good listener conveys to the speaker that they are being truly heard - that we are taking in what they are communicating, and really absorbing it.  Absorption and agreement are different things, to be sure.  But isn’t it easier to “agree to disagree” if you feel like your point(s) were truly considered?

Preet interviewed Niobe Way, professor of Applied Psychology at New York University.  Professor Way most recently published The Crisis of Connection:  Its Roots, Consequences, and Solutions.  A big thrust of her work focuses on cultural gender norms, and their affects on human development.  She also created a program called The Listening Project, a program implemented in schools across the country with the goal of reducing harassment, bullying, depression, anxiety and loneliness - all of which have been climbing amongst our children for many years.

Beyond the topics explicitly covered in this podcast conversation, it dawned on me that listening is really a cornerstone skill capable of unlocking many benefits at once. With significantly improved listening skills, we could improve children’s happiness, reduce political polarization, and reduce “lone wolf” violence in America.

We all need to feel seen and heard.  Despite the massive electronic connectivity that has developed over the past 20+ years, it seems that too few of us are receiving this type of acknowledgment and acceptance from those around us.  An important tool to address this is better listening.

Sunday Supper
I was trying to figure out what to make for dinner Thursday night, so checked the freezer to see what proteins we had on hand.  Sitting there was a pound each of sea scallops and shrimp.  In Oregon I had a great bowl of clam chowder at Mo’s, so figured why not make some more?  This recipe really did the trick.  I also made a salad with this Honey Lime Vinaigrette.  Enjoy!

Sunday Music
I don’t recall if I’ve ever shared Patty Griffin with you.  This is a lovely performance by her at the NPR Tiny Desk.  A distinctive voice and evocative lyricist.  Enjoy!

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Neal

NEXT ONE UP

Good day to you!

With the school buses no longer running, and fewer cars flowing toward the schools each morning, it is much easier for Nova and I to cross the street for our morning walks.  I can already feel the slower summer vibes settling in.

Temperatures really popped in the Land of Legend this week…possibly resulting in some showers.  I don’t know for sure, because I am writing this edition of the newsletter a couple of days in advance.  Lori and I flew out to Oregon for the wedding of dear friend.  The wedding was yesterday.  Today, we sneak down the coast to the town of Bandon so that I can play a round of golf at one of my favorite places on earth.  It’s expected to be breezy with a high of 59 degrees in Bandon today.  Chilly, but playable.  As the Scottish say, “Nae wind, nae golf.”  There are few things more satisfying than a well-struck golf shot, the ball piercing through the wind toward the target.

This past week I listened to this podcast from Seth Godin, and it got my mental gears spinning.  In it, he describes the hiring practice of a bakery.  They keep a list of people interested in working at the bakery.  Whenever they have a job opening, they simply call the person at the top of the list and hire them.  No interview, they just hire them.  “You have the job.  Can you start tomorrow?”

It reminds me of college football coaches in post-game press conferences.  Because football is a brutal sport, players are often injured.  So often, in fact, that there is a common phrase in the game:  “Next Man Up.”  For players, this means to always be prepared to go into a game, because an injury could force the starter to exit at any time.

An interesting thing about the bakery, and other business who have similar open hiring practices:  They generally have lower turnover than their peers who use more traditional hiring practices.  They perform better on other metrics as well.  I wonder how broadly this notion might apply while observing similar effects.  What if we are not very good at predicting how well someone will perform in a given role?  What if our culture was more open to allowing people to try new things, regardless of experience?

In the realm of dating, what if people signed up for a service and it just randomly paired people for dates?  The only requirement being that you had to actually spend some time with the person you were paired with before you could be assigned another date.  Arranged marriages experience a much lower divorce rate.  I’m sure there are many factors contributing to this, but one of them must be the context in which the union is formed - semi-randomly putting two people together, and their job is to figure it out.  Both are vulnerable, perhaps unsure.  It is in both of their interest’s to work cooperatively.  Ands somehow it works out more successfully than the outcomes associated with “playing the field.”

What if it were culturally acceptable, even expected, to have your name on a few job lists with different companies, all the time?  Every once in a while you would receive a phone call notifying you that you were the next person up on the hiring list at a different company.  The perfect opportunity to evaluate your current position, comparing against the new opportunity.  If you are quite satisfied with the status quo, just pass on it.  If not - maybe you leap at the chance to work elsewhere.  Both scenarios are good, I think.  In the former you would essentially be “renewing your vows” with your current employer.  And in the later, one company would lose a less-than-fully-engaged team member, with another receiving a new teammate who is eager for a fresh start doing something new.  Win-Win.

Maybe we’re getting in our own way more than we need to.  Maybe we should let random chance play a bigger role in our lives.  It might force us to grow, become more adaptable in general.  Who knows?  I’m sure this isn’t a silver-bullet solution to everything, but probably worthy of broader adoption.

Sunday Supper
I made these Chicken Kebabs this past week, and they were delicious.  This Fattoush salad recipe would be a great accompaniment, and these Cherry Hand Pies would be a rocking dessert. 

Sunday Music
I discovered Margaret Glaspy earlier this year, and shared some of her work in this newsletter (back in February).  Well, she has a new album coming out in August, and she released the first single.  It's great.  I really love her sound - it reminds me of a performer who helped define culture during my college years, Miss Juliana Hatfield.  Enjoy both of these powerful, rocking' women today! 

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Neal