Inconvenience Is The Point
I could see her name on my phone as it rang. I assumed that she was calling to re-confirm the timing of my visit later Saturday morning. Even though we speak almost every Friday night to plan my weekly visit, she often forgets and needs to re-confirm the details.
But yesterday she “let me off the hook.” She she wasn’t feeling well, and decided she could wait another week to run errands. So, the time I would normally spend with her was being refunded to me.
I won’t lie, I was grateful. After a busy week, lots and lots of things had been piling up in my world. But I couldn’t help but feel that she had decided that my time was too valuable to spend on her. And that is complete bullshit.
I started visiting her in 2022. After my mom passed in 2021, I guess I still needed an old lady to boss me around a little bit. Her vision is failing, so I drive her to the grocery store, the bank, etc, narrating as we go. “This is the Spring Greens mix, those are turnips…”
I used to have three “clients,” but she’s the only one left. My silent commitment to each of them has been to visit once per week until they no longer need my assistance. The other two clients have passed on, leaving just her now.
Volunteer work is a little tricky. Every client’s situation is different, but for one reason or another there is often a scarcity of companionship. So, yes, we run errands - but it’s a social visit as much as anything. I try not to overshare information about my life. Instead, I chat her up and talk about the news of the day. We often listen to the Saturday talk shows on public radio.
Maybe she was feeling under the weather. Maybe she decided that my time was better spent doing other things in my always-busy life. I hope it wasn’t the later, because I will always have other things I could/should be doing. But Saturday is when I set aside aside time for visiting her.
Having a standing appointment to help one fellow human on Saturdays is something I would recommend to anyone. This simple gesture means an awful lot to those on the receiving end of it. It doesn’t scale. It is often inconvenient. But smalls acts, consistently delivered, add up.
I used to look for ways to create high-leverage impact when it came to community service. “How can I be a catalyst for systemic change?” That was the gist of it. And of course I did nothing, because I never conjured the silver-bullet solution.
When this client “graduates” to whatever is next, I may take a break from volunteering. But for now, I look forward to maintaining the ritual for as long as she needs me. It’ll never be convenient, but that’s pretty much the point.
Sunday Supper
Coconut-Gochujang Glazed Chicken w/ Broccoli
Sunday Music
Bill Frisell at the World Cafe
Stanley Clarke & Stewart Copeland
Norah Jones Interviews and Performs w/ Arooj Aftab
Enjoy!
If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them.
Have a great week ahead! You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love,