Childlike, Not Childish
Our younger son pulled out of the driveway on Friday, moving to another city to start his career. His original plan was to leave Thursday, but a poor night of sleep gave Lori and I a bonus day with the lad.
Happy and sad feelings swirled together in the oddest emotional Blizzard™. The celebration of this new chapter unfolding for him, combined with the knowledge that this is likely the last extended period of time we will share together makes for a wild combination.
He’s so ready. He is such a smart, capable, caring person. Yes, Lori and I helped promote his development - but at least half of the job was just staying out of the way and letting it happen.
I worked hard to not be a blubbering parent. It would be selfish to make the moment about what I was feeling. Instead, I framed it in my mind as a celebration of all he had accomplished, and the good things that await him in Wisconsin.
I also hit the kitchen, intent on producing some of his favorite foods - Mexican Egg Rolls Thursday night, and something we call “Tortilla Egg” for breakfast on Friday prior to him hitting the road. A corn tortilla, browned on both sides in a pan with a small dab of butter, topped with a single egg, beaten and cooked flat, folded, then topped with cheddar cheese and a little salsa. Toasty, corny, buttery with plenty of flavor. A perfect little eggy taco. This was a breakfast staple during the grade school years in our house.
I hope that both of our sons are able to retain the mental suppleness of youth: curiosity, wonder and openness. Looking back, I definitely hit a point where my perspective became less flexible in early adulthood. I wouldn’t say that I felt like I had it all figured out, but I eventually found myself re-cultivating this suppleness once I realized it had started to fade.
Listening to a podcast this past week, I heard the phrase “Childlike, not childish,” which sums it up perfectly. The wide eyes and open mind of youth is something to hang on to. As we age, our mental maps for how things work grow in complexity and get more rigid. But the world has proved to be ever-changing, and I think it will only change faster in the future. I suppose there is a balance to be struck between childlike wonder, and naivety. Here are some ways to cultivate childlike strengths throughout life:
Stay genuinely curious, even as you become more informed.
Embrace beginner’s mind as a starting point for learning something new. Presume nothing.
Separate observation from interpretation. Often as adults we jump to interpretation. Experience something fully, then reflect on it.
Seek out people with different worldviews. When we are children, everything is new. We have to go out of way to find novelty as we age.
Play without a goal. Play for play’s sake. Protect some space for exploration without outcomes.
Welcome being wrong. When you’re wrong about something, welcome it. Don’t defensively reject it. Learn.
Notice and revel in delight. We experience much more delight in our youth. Cultivate this as a skill, and celebrate delight when it arises.
Sunday Supper
This Red Curry Chicken & Rice is so easy and delicious. I prepped this Overnight Sausage & Mushroom Strata Saturday night, baking it this morning. I’ll be making these Korean BBQ-Style Meatballs tonight, along with some roasted broccoli. I’m a sucker for rice pudding, and this Salted Caramel version looks wonderful.
Sunday Music
Here’s RAYE performing Cry Me A River. Madison Cunningham on World Cafe. Glass Beams performs a trippy set on KEXP. Weather Report live at the Montreal Jazz Festival, 1976. Enjoy!
If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them.
Have a great week ahead! You can do anything you set your mind to. Let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love,